Who's in It:
Owen Wilson, Leslie Mann, David Dorfman, Troy Gentile, Nate Hartley, Alex Frost
The Basics: Three nerdy kids hire a homeless guy to be their bodyguard because bullies won't leave them alone, and no adult will believe their stories of violence and torment. Just think Superbad minus the humor, the point and the R-rated language and add lots of kids being punched in the face.
What's the Deal? It's the kind of flat, unfunny movie where you sort of chuckle once every 15 minutes or so. But because it's produced by Judd Apatow and co-written by Seth Rogen, you want to like it because it approximates a certain Freaks and Geeks feeling. And you feel bad that you don't. Worse, thanks to its refusal to ground itself in anything resembling real life (which is why that show and the good Apatow-related movies worked), you can't trust it for one second.
Best High School Ever If You're a Vicious Bully or a Fake, Horny Teacher: It's not just that every high school in the United States now has metal detectors, they also have full-time security staffs. But no one involved in this seems to know that or care. We're also asked to believe there are no teachers around monitoring extreme violence in the hallways, no concept of "bullying," no vice principal in charge of discipline and no one bothering to notice a new mysterious faculty member who spends half his time having sex with one of the other teachers. In a classroom. With lots of windows.
Charisma Still Wins: But only if your name is Owen Wilson. Somehow, even in the midst of crap like this, he still comes off looking good. Unless you're one of those people who are instantly annoyed by him. Personally, I save all my annoyed feelings for Matthew McConaughey.
Special Nerd Mention: Young actor Dorfman, as the tiniest and weirdest of the geeks, deserves recognition for pulling off a misfit character so strange and gawky that he makes McLovin look like George Clooney.