Dave White
Dragon Wars Review

Dave's Rating:


… they really spent their budget on making good-looking monsters.

Who's in It: Jason Behr, Amanda Brooks, Robert Forster, Craig Robinson, Elizabeth Peña, Chris Mulkey

The Basics: Giant snake-like dragons destroy every square inch of Los Angeles before battling it out in some other realm that's never quite explained well enough. They do this because of a Korean legend that says that every 500 years a good dragon has to battle a bad dragon, and a girl with a dragon tattoo is the keeper of the good one and … oh, like it matters. Go back and read the first sentence in which I explain that giant snake-like dragons destroy every square inch of Los Angeles. That's really all you need to know.

What's the Deal? If, like any other rational, entertainment-loving person, you enjoy movies about giant monsters who fight, then you won't have too much to complain about here, save for the fact that it takes almost 45 minutes for the major destruction to begin. Before that, you get a lot of explanation of the legend, and even then, the main girl in the movie sums it up in one sentence when she yells, "None of this makes sense!" So you suffer through the stupid humans and their "acting" and just focus on the big dragons eating helicopters. They seem to really like eating the helicopters.

Rubber Suit Purist Warning: I'm like you, if pushed to make a choice, I'll take a person in a rubber suit stomping on miniature cities any day over ornate CG effects. But those days are pretty much over. You can have your memories and watch the DVDs over and over again. But green-screen creatures rule the day now, so you'll be a happier person if you just accept it. Having said that, they really spent their budget on making good-looking monsters. I was especially into the ones that are like giant slugs with spinning rocket launchers on their backs.

How It's Not at All Like The Host: That one, a really fantastic movie released earlier this year (and also from Korea), transcended its genre and willed itself into a piece of modern art. This one has no aspirations outside of being exactly what it is. And when the dragon-monster-thingies crash through homes and start eating people, you stop worrying about genre this or that and just begin cheering for them to get crazier.

Best Part If You Happen to Live in Los Angeles: The way that the movie shows anyone not directly involved in being chased or eaten by a monster as being completely oblivious to the grand-scale destruction taking place in their city. So points for realism there.


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