Dave's Rating:

2.0

… zero amounts of interesting …

Who's in It: Ryan Reynolds, Abigail Breslin, Derek Luke, Kevin Kline, Rachel Weisz, Isla Fisher, Elizabeth Banks

The Basics: If Reynolds ever happens to wind up as your dad in some sort of Freaky Friday-esque body-switching accident, it's imperative that you never ask him to tell you a bedtime story. Because he will. And it'll be all about how he met your mommy. And it'll take two hours. And that story will include a lot of sex details — actual line uttered by Breslin: "Daddy, what's a threesome?" — and will also somehow be the most sleep-inducing tale ever told. You'll get more somnolent satisfaction out of a cup of warm milk and a chocolate chip cookie.

What's the Deal? What if there were no bland white people in the world? Would romantic comedies suddenly star Mr. T and Shilpa Shetty? Or would America Ferrera just step in and pick up the slack? Anyway, I guess it's not the whiteness I'm having a problem with here, it's the empty-box zero amounts of interesting being piled invisibly high onscreen. Should the handsome guy pick this hot lady? Or this one? Or maybe this one? Is there a good reason for any of them to actually like each other for more than purely physical reasons? Even their environment has been stripped of anything that would make you know it as New York City. It's like they just shot this on the Friends set.

Lies Lies Lies, Yeah: Let's say you're a fan of those Richard Curtis-style movies from England like Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill and Love, Actually. And let's say you've seen the ads for this one where they practically rub your whole face in the fact that it's "From the makers of … (!!!)" those films. Well, that's false. It's from the same production company. And the only British people here are doing American accents.

Politics? What Politics? A good chunk of the plot is devoted to the recent past of the 1992 Clinton campaign for president. And the characters are, for the most part, politically aware, socially concerned people. But zero mention is made of the fact that something else happened after Clinton. And none of the people onscreen can be seen or heard caring about any of it. It's all about their dull little romantic travails. I didn't think I could dislike these nincompoops any more than I did in the first 60 minutes, but it actually creates an environment where that is possible.

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