Who's in It:
Danny DeVito, Matthew Broderick, Kristin Davis, Kristin Chenoweth
The Basics: Two guys in a rich neighborhood where the homes easily cost a couple of mil each decide that being insanely well-off isn't enough. They also have to destroy each other in a battle over Christmas lawn decorations.
What's the Deal? I love any movie where rich people are forced to suffer at Christmas time. And the name of that movie is The Ref. This isn't that movie. And worse, it tries to have it's Marie Antoinette cake and eat it, too, because not only do our heroes learn that simple things like family and love are the most important gift of the season, they get to have their giant environmentally disastrous Yule lights reach outer space, too. Oh, did I just spoil the ending for you? If I did, then you're not that bright to begin with.
Meanwhile: OK, yes, I laughed. I've seen so many awful movies this year that I think I'm punch-drunk.
And Now the Moment You've Really Been Waiting For: If you read my column and if you didn't, then why not? then you'll know that I truly did just wheel my stroke-patient mother into a mall to see this movie at 10 a.m. on the day before Thanksgiving. What follows is my interview with her about this movie. [All answers delivered via a nod of the head for "yes" and a shake of the head for "no."]
Did it make you feel happy for Christmas's impending arrival? Yes.
Did you think it was funny? Yes.
Did you want any of the characters to die via electrocution? No.
Do you ever enjoy Christmas-themed films that involve slapstick injury? No.
Do you think you're taller, sitting in your wheelchair, than Danny DeVito is even if he's standing upright? Yes.
Do you even know who Kristin Davis and Kristin Chenoweth are? Yes. [note: She has a lot of free time to watch TV.]
Did you think it was "cute?" No.
Do you feel like this movie brought you closer to understanding the True Meaning of Christmas? No.