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Conan the Barbarian Review

Movies.com Critics

2.5

Dave White Profile

Who ordered the Soulful Barbarian? Read full review

1.0

Grae Drake Profile

As bloody as it is pointless. Read full review

Other Critics provided by Metacritic.com

Critics scores range from 0 to 100, with higher scores indicating more favorable reviews.

  • 2.0
    37

    out of 100

    Metascore®
    Generally unfavorable reviews
    based on a weighted average of all
    critic review scores.

  • 30

    out of 100

    The Hollywood Reporter Kirk Honeycutt

    There is no purpose to the film other than random blood splattering amid scenes of bondage, primitive savagery and S&M eroticism. The film is numbing and dumb with its hero indistinguishable from its villains.

    Read Full Review

  • 38

    out of 100

    Chicago Sun-Times Roger Ebert

    A brutal, crude, witless high-tech CGI contrivance, in which no artificial technique has been overlooked, including 3-D.

    Read Full Review

  • 38

    out of 100

    USA Today Scott Bowles

    Conan the Barbarian lives by a pretty simple ethos: He lives, he loves, he slays. What he doesn't do, alas, is act.

    Read Full Review

  • 50

    out of 100

    Variety

    The well-executed picture solves the biggest challenge facing those hoping to breathe new life -- however nasty, brutish and short -- into the 79-year-old franchise by finding an actor capable of filling Ah-nuld's shoes.

    Read Full Review

  • 50

    out of 100

    The New York Times Manohla Dargis

    Mr. Momoa has some awfully big biceps to fill. He rises to that task with a pumped physique made for ogling. Thankfully, he also shows glints of self-awareness that can make hypermasculine blowouts like these more watchable and were largely missing from Mr. Schwarzenegger's wide-eyed turn in the first "Conan the Barbarian" (1982).

    Read Full Review

  • 50

    out of 100

    Entertainment Weekly Lisa Schwarzbaum

    There's something and nothing for everyone in Conan the Barbarian 3D.

    Read Full Review

  • 50

    out of 100

    Chicago Tribune Michael Phillips

    It's mostly noise and splurch and, as I mentioned, aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh!

    Read Full Review

  • 60

    out of 100

    Los Angeles Times Betsy Sharkey

    Brutal, bloody beyond belief, and has no socially redeeming value. So it is with a certain amount of guilt that I say it's kind of a wicked blast to watch, especially if you're in the mood for some righteous revenge.

    Read Full Review

  • See all Conan the Barbarian reviews at Metacritic.com

For Families provided by Common Sense Media

not for kids

Gruesomely violent sword-and-sorcery tale is terrible.

What Parents Need to Know

Parents need to know that this extremely violent sword-and-sorcery tale -- which was inspired by Robert E. Howard's 1930s pulp stories, as well as 1970s comic books and two Arnold Schwarzenegger movies from the 1980s -- is in no way a kid-friendly comic book adaptation. There's tons of gruesome blood and gore, including severed heads and body parts, stabbings, bashings, slayings, violence aimed at women and children (including an unborn baby), and many other brutal acts, all of which are even more intense when seen in the movie's 3D version. Conan is motivated by revenge and relies on all of this violence to solve his problems. Women in general are treated like props; several are shown topless for long moments, and there's what amounts to a softcore sex scene. Language is infrequent but includes one use of "s--t," and the heroes drink something alcoholic (mead?) when celebrating.

  • Families can talk about the movie's extreme violence. Is it shocking? Why did the filmmakers choose to go over the top? What makes it more extreme than what you see in other fantasy/action movies?
  • Is Conan a role model? What positive traits does he show? What negative ones? Are viewers intended to admire him?
  • If you've seen earlier Conan movies, how does this one compare? Is it more extreme? Why do you think that is? Is it the filmmaker's decision or a reflection of how culture has changed?

The good stuff
  • message true0

    Messages: Conan is mostly motivated by revenge, and he achieves his goals through violence. Women are treated as objects, and women and children are sometimes the targets of violence.

  • rolemodels true0

    Role models: Conan occasionally works with others, but he mostly looks after himself. He's primarily motivated by revenge and uses violence to achieve his goals; he leaves destruction in his wake and doesn't pay any price for that.

What to watch for
  • violence false5

    Violence: The movie's gruesome violence may be fantasy related, but it's still graphic and bloody, with children and women sometimes the targets. In the first few minutes, a pregnant woman is stabbed in the belly, and viewers see a shot from inside the womb (the sword enters near the baby, and blood begins to fill the womb). There's constant fighting, bashing, burning, stabbing, slicing, whipping, slaying, brain-spattering, and nose-slicing, plus severed heads and limbs, with large amounts of blood. A man is left with a key in his stomach, with the intention that slaves will slice him open to obtain the key to their freedom -- and more.

  • sex false5

    Sex: Conan rescues several topless slave women and brings them to a tavern to celebrate. Some of them dance on tabletops, and they're on view for long moments. Later, Conan has a full-fledged softcore sex scene. It's softly lit, with frequent dissolves and very little actual nudity, but it's very clear that the couple is having sex (there's thrusting). Afterward, there's a gratuitous shot of Conan's naked behind.

  • language false2

    Language: Language is infrequent but includes one use of "s--t." "Hell" is used once, and possibly "whore" (though that word comes during a particularly noisy scene, and it's hard to hear).

  • consumerism false0

    Consumerism: Not an issue

  • drugsalcoholtobacco false2

    Drinking, drugs and smoking: After a victory, Conan and his friend drink heavy amounts of something alcoholic (mead?) from large mugs. They appear spirited but not really drunk.

Fan Reviews provided by

4

Conan the Barbarian review :) by Runman221
This movie was better than I excepted it to be. There was action pretty much the entire movie, which is what I really like. Conan's acting was quite good. He actually acted how a barbarian should. The special effects were great. One problem I had with it was that the blood spurts at times were a little over the top on some scenes. Other than that, I really enjoyed it and would see it again when it comes out on dvd. When it says Rated R, it isn't being put lightly. There is quite a bit of nudity, and the violence is quite graphic and gory. I strongly recommend that ages 16 and below don't watch this. If you don't like watching movies with a lot of nudity or very graphic violence, don't watch this.

3

Entertaining but silly by entropicangel42
I thought this remake would be gratuitous, but I actually enjoyed this mindless, fantasy-action flick. Conan seeks revenge against the man who killed his father and destroyed his village.

5

Conan Review by imax2the max
I really enjoyed the movie! I liked it more than the Arnold movie. This newer version explained more--a lot more. Also, Momoa's body type better fits the Conan concept. Momoa is muscled an agile. Arnold, Mr. Universe that he was, was indeed very bulked. Conan needs to be very agile. Again, really liked the movie--soundtrack was good too.

3

conan the not barbarian by imax3d dude
SPOILER ALERT o k i rented this movie so i could see how bad it was. and it was bad most of the time. so in the beginig there is a battle and you know how it is writen on the poster born on the battelfiled well he was just that. then he is about my age 9 years old and he is being such a bad @$$ that you know that he was just acting. so then you get to this advencher and one seen did not match to the next seen. but that was o k.

3

Not as bad some people say. by movie-fan_ colts
Sure, this movie could have been better. But overall I thought the special effects were good and it had a entertaining plot. Certain scenes were really intense while others were down right stupid, (the severed head with the opening eyes, the man's nose getting cut off). Without the few cheesy effects this movie would have been a pretty good blockbuster I think.

3

Not very good by TerpsFan72
To be fair, I have to say I'm a huge fan of the original and this movie just doesn't hold up at all, in my opinion at least. Another newer movie than leans way to heavily on the FX, which is becoming more and more common place. We need good movies, with good effects, not just a bunch of amazing, and sometimes not amazing effects.

1

This Should Have Been A Comedy--It's So Bad Parts Were Hilarious. by Alon Patterson
Rarely, among the literal hundreds of movies I see on screen each year, do I walk out before the end. This one and only two others in my lifetime bears that distinction. I stayed for plenty though, more than an hour and ten in fact. The first forty minutes were so funny I had to leave the theater twice because I couldn't stop laughing. It was that bad. I thought I might disturb the other person in the theater that seats 800 that was dumb enough, like me, to buy a ticket this piece of film-like non-entertainment. They must have spent a 'gaziliion' dollars on this thing but I'm convinced it must either have been a tax write-off or some hollywood mogul's brother-in-law project. The high point of the whole ordeal was when old conehead, I mean Conan, freed the topless slave girls, who should have kept their tops on because two looked more like boys to me. This was genuinely AWFUL. There's just nothing nice I can say. Don't rent it, don't watch it on pay TV. Stay away. It's toxic.

3

by peoploppian

1

by MoviesLover07

1

worst movie by Rangyman
Bad movie!! I walked out of the theater....bad action worst acting.

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