Dave's Rating:

1.5

Ordinary Teen People

Who's In It: Zac Efron, Charlie Tahan, Amanda Crew, Augustus Prew, Donal Logue, Kim Basinger, Ray Liotta

The Basics: In this ghoulish death comedy (warning to anyone who plans on actually seeing this movie: here comes some spoilers. And by some I mean all of them), boat-racing prodigy Charlie St. Cloud is the Grim Reaper of his small seaside town. Pretty much anyone who comes into contact with him dies. His little brother goes first and Charlie manages to keep the kid in a weird limbo of endless baseball practice as he toys with the weeping child's tormented spirit. Then a high school friend dies in Iraq and Charlie scolds his ghost for hanging around the cemetery. Then he gives Ray Liotta cancer just by touching him and, finally he half-kills his own boat-racing girlfriend and has half-consensual sex with her on the cold ground. The best part: he is hypnotically good looking so no one suspects him of being the Eye of the Murder Tornado.

What's The Deal: Much like with other ghoulish death comedies (see: After.Life, The Lovely Bones) the moral is that you're meant to understand life as something to live to the Tim McGraw-song fullest, as though you were about to die yourself. That way when you do die you won't hang around the hazy middle between lightness and darkness lamenting the fact that you didn't do enough bull riding, yacht racing or skee-balling. What makes this movie better than those other ones is that it tells you the truth about everything: namely that if you're not as hot as Zac Efron then you're just doomed. He's taking up all the good looks and meaningful life experiences and there's not enough of them left for you, Fug Face.

Funniest Bits: When the ghost bro pitches a baseball right at Zac's balls is good, but it's not as funny as the part where the ghost bro suddenly becomes a bright white orb of light and turns into a shooting star. And neither of those is a match for the moment after Zac and somewhat-not-alive girlfriend do it on the ground. She recovers back to a 100% alive state and says, of her time between worlds, "I had all these dreams of you." His response is, "Those weren't dreams, they were memories." (Translation: "I totally nailed you while you were dead.")

Further Reference Material: Ordinary People, the movie about Timothy Hutton doing basically the same thing except he gets it all wrong by trying to kill himself, too. Then he battles Mary Tyler Moore but her evil is stronger so she wins.

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