Dave White
Bride Wars Review

Dave's Rating:

0.5

Oh dang, my hair looks bad.

Who's In It: Kate Hudson, Anne Hathaway, Candice Bergen

The Basics: Two female friends, when confronted with the tiniest of speed bumps on the road to each having a lovely wedding (they've accidentally been booked for the same place at the same time--I know, stab your eyes out now from the horror) turn on one another and do their best to sabotage their BFF's nuptials. They accomplish this by trying to make each get fat or have badly dyed hair or awful tans. And since all three of those cosmetic maladies are the equivalent of a harsh and untimely death, it's understandable that any one of them could make a woman cancel plans for her big day. Like Oh dang, my hair looks bad. Guess we have to call off the wedding.

What's The Deal: Last year, when the Sex and the City movie came out, non-fans complained that its portrayal of female camaraderie was more about shopping than shared affection. But you know what? At least the ladies in that movie kept their ranks tight. There might have been some squabbling but there were no open displays of life-wrecking hostility. But if you were an alien and someone used this movie to explain the concept of "best friends" to you, you'd just incinerate the whole planet right then and there.

What Saves It From Being As Despicably Anti-Feminist As 27 Dresses: It forgives its main characters for their stupidity and gives them a happy ending that costs the movie nothing. The Katherine Heigl abomination, on the other hand, just dragged its heroine through dirt to punish her and its own happy ending felt like she'd just been set up into another trap.

Biggest Beef: Really cheats you out of the kinds of battle scenes you expect from a movie with the word "war" in the title. You have to wait until the final 15 minutes before these two indulge in hand-to-hand combat. Contrast this to the amazing Dragon Wars, which featured giant monsters laying waste to Los Angeles skyscrapers by the 30-minute mark, and you can see which one really earns the right to use the W-word.

Just To Make Myself Feel Better: I'm going to assume that funny Saturday Night Live cast member Casey Wilson, who appears here briefly and who co-wrote the script, was the one responsible for putting the film's only funny lines into the mouths of secondary characters and nameless bystanders and that she had nothing to do with the rest of it.

Share
RSS RSS

Comments (2)

Chloe - 7-25-2012 8:15 PM
Flag This Comment

Technically, the blonde chick is NOT Kate Hudson. It's either Emma Stone or Anna Faris. I think it's Emma. Anna would just made this more crude.

Brandi.H - 9-09-2012 11:01 AM
Flag This Comment

The actors in Bride Wars play their characters impeccably; Kate Hudson easily conveys a confident, strong-willed, dazzling lawyer and Anne Hathaway radiates simple mindedness and humbleness. The dialogue throughout the movie is fresh, upbeat, and humorous. Although Manhattan isn't necessarily a unique setting, its busy, bustling lifestyle easily relates to Emma and Liv's once they become engaged, creating a delightfully cliché setting.

Leave a Comment

Advertisement

Dave's recent reviews

All Dave White's Movie Reviews