Who's In It: Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, America Olivo
The Basics: Three large-breasted ultravixens steal a couple hundred million dollars of diamonds from some equally bad guys. The ladies do a lot of shooting, kicking, martial-artsing and penis-breaking of the men who cross their path. When they're not doing that they're pouting, snarling and fighting each other. Or stripping. Lots of stripping going on.
What's The Deal: You don't care about the heist part of this movie. Nor do you care that half of it's shot in front of fakey green screens. You care about the part where they pour water over each other and frolic about like pole-dancing lesbians-for-pay. And since that's all you're after you could just stay home and check out Busty Cops 2 on Cinemax rather than running out to the arthouse theater for this one. Worse, what the movie doesn't know is that loving old exploitation films like Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! is not the same thing as effectively paying witty tribute to them. But like I said, if you're 14 years old and horny, that's not even on your radar of concern.
Why It Always Feels Like Mike Myers Is About To Step Out From Around A Corner And Say, "Oh, Be-HAYYVE!": The movie's sense of humor doesn't move beyond giving characters names like "Fuchs" and "Kinki" and watching the women trap men's faces between their legs on snow-covered mountains right before someone gets killed.
One Genuinely Cool Thing About It: All stunts were coordinated by Tarantino's favorite hood-riding, Death Proof bad-ass Zoe Bell. And if the movie had been directed better you'd get to see more of them. In fact, just go watch Death Proof again instead.