Who's In It: Martin Lawrence, Brandon T. Jackson, Jessica Lucas, Faizon Love, Portia Doubleday, Ana Ortiz
The Basics: I know what you said back in 1999. You were like, this is the year Prince spoke of in that excellent song, and what I want in my heart is to see Tootsie again starring that guy from Nothing to Lose, but in a fat suit with more guns. You got your wish the next year, and you kept wishing it, and here we are 11 years later with the third installment of the series. This time Malcolm (Martin Lawrence) is protecting his stepson Trent (Brandon T. Jackson) from the bad guys. They hide out at an all girls art school that supposedly hides a case-clinching USB drive. The only question is, can Trent keep his cool around all those girls in lacy nighties? And can Malcolm ever relax enough to be a nude model in an art class?
What's The Deal: If you didn't enjoy the first two movies, don't see this. It's more of the same in a different location. But if you think Martin Lawrence running around doing anything in a fat suit is akin to watching Forbidden Zone or Sarah Palin's Alaska, then check it out. Big Momma growls at prima ballerinas, gives advice to Sherri Shepard re: her weave, and wears orthopedic shoes like nobody's business. Don't even get me started on how great the Twister sequence is, or how happy it makes my heart when she tells people to "Bounce" when she wants them to leave. I found myself laughing at this movie ironically, but a laugh is a laugh.
Filled with Megawatt Charisma: Brandon T. Jackson is fun to watch here, saving bit after bit with his commitment to the character. When he is irate in a stretch belt, he rivals the heat of any club skank in the 90s. And his attempts to dance ballet had me dying. Against Lawrence, they have a nice newbie-and-pro energy. Also worth mentioning is Faizon Love, who I want to have a picnic with. He is funny and relatable, and has always been a highlight of his previous films like Couples Retreat and Elf.
How To Impress Girls Big Momma Style: First off, understand that life is about opposite energies coming together and creating something new. This means that if a hot girl plays a piano, you need to put your computer on top of it. And if she has a great singing voice, you need to rap with her. Sometimes opposites attracting doesn't always work, like in the case of Mia (Michelle Ang) and her stupid boyfriend Delante (Zack Mines), but usually it can be a lyrical miracle.