Who's In It: Martin Lawrence, Brandon T. Jackson, Jessica Lucas, Michelle Ang, Portia Doubleday, Faizon Love, Sherri Shepherd, Ken Jeong, Max Casella

The Basics: When Home Alone-caliber criminals are up to no good and the FBI budget will allow for only one person to handle the case, they call Martin/Big Momma. The specifics involve Martin and his teenage stepson going undercover as ladies at an all-girl art school. That's when Big Momma becomes a figure model and a rapper and a person who crushes lunch tables. And though it almost goes without saying, it's funny because she's morbidly obese.

What's The Deal: I believe in unwritten social contracts, like helping little old ladies carry their groceries and saying "Yes Ma'am" and No Sir." It's how we stay civilized. And Martin Lawrence, whether he meant to or not, initiated a new clause in the unwritten social contract of cinema when he starred in the first Big Momma movie, a clause that stipulates there should be nonstop stupidity happening at all times when film is being projected on the screen. Poop, farts, animals biting crotches, broken limbs, identity confusion, zany funerals, more poop. Stuff like that. It's kind of a promise he made to all of us. And I am sad to report that this film fails at bringing adequate amounts of idiotic events to the table. Only one knee to the crotch? Only one scene featuring nearly naked chub-rolls spilling out from Big Momma's big costume? Only one inadvertently homosexualized game of fat Twister? What gives, Big Momma? I didn't come to this thing to see a credible caper; I came for the projectile vomit. Bottom line: I laughed when it was as dumb as it should be. I was bored when it wasn't.

What Could Have Been: Imagine this as a documentary where Robin Williams in his Mrs. Doubtfire costume, Tyler Perry as Madea, all the Wayans siblings in a variety of disguises, Eddie Murphy as Grandma Klump and Gwyneth Paltrow in her own fat suit from Shallow Hal are forced to engage in an actual fight, employing nothing but battle moves you might see in a film like this. And because they'd be dealing with Bugs Bunny physics where no amount of slapstick violence actually kills a person, they all get to live at the end, bloodied and bruised but still standing. It'd be more fun than this movie. Also, I figure Madea would emerge the victor, but that's just speculation on my part.

Another Thought: Maybe Tracy Morgan and Tina Fey and whoever else from 30 Rock could just sit down for a quick lunch and write a script for any of the fake "Tracy Jordan" titles they throw around on that show. I'd go see Honky Grandma Be Trippin' or Who Dat Ninja? immediately. And Robert Rodriguez did it with Machete, so it's entirely do-able. I don't see what the delay is, but I think we all deserve one of them before Big Momma 4 comes along.

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Comments (11)

mia simmons - 2-19-2011 7:10 PM
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The critic is as smart as geese poop this movie is fantastic!!!!! Martin lawerencei bow down to you

Dan Nelson - 2-20-2011 2:17 PM
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Wow the fact that you just said you bow down to Martin Lawrence is garbage. Are you really telling me this movie is fantastic? It movies likes these that hollywood continues to roll out because they have no more ideas. The fact you think Martin Lawrence can act Mia, is just horrible. Thanks again Dave for entertaining with another great review, I will make sure to miss this one.

brett - 2-20-2011 3:28 PM
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I want to comment on the movie but I'm still stuck on "geese poop."

I Wish U Would - 2-21-2011 10:55 AM
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I enjoyed this movie and so did all little ones in the audience! The movie as colorful. (literally) The set scenes were nice. It was clean harmless humor. My six year old danced at the end! Martin Lawrence is a Great Actor! I'm quite sure he could have done this movie differently, but it was good to see fresh new talented faces. I personally am tired of the stereo types. There were young people in performing art school and the African-American young man got his college education and a music career! Dream Young People Dream! Greatness is Possible.

Mark J - 2-21-2011 3:58 PM
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Movie fail! Why? You don't spell it "Mommas" it's "Mamas."

IM AWESOME - 2-22-2011 10:04 AM
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And yet people actually complain that not enough black actors get nominated for academy awards. I mean, I guess I agree. After seeing Sir Martin Lawerence channal his inner woman to create this character, I don't understand how he could possibly get snubbed next year by the academy. He is truly gifted.

Brian - 2-22-2011 10:52 AM
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This movie was made for the "stupid" demographic.

Karimu - 2-24-2011 8:40 PM
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I am fascinated by the people that are severe critics of actors like Martin Lawrence who time after time make movies that are funny. Those same people are don't seem to understand that these are movies that they can take their kids to see without exposing their children to vulgar violent movies that promote gun toting actors that have little or no talent.

ariel - 2-25-2011 9:05 PM
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hey i really wat ont to meet all of yall one and i love that song baby you know

Bullio - 2-28-2011 12:36 PM
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@ Karimu - have you ever seen Bad Boys II starring your golden boy Martin Lawrence? It's a vulgar, violent movie with Martin Lawrence toting a gun. There goes your pathetic argument you whiny little peasant.

Didi - 3-01-2011 1:41 PM
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Save you money. This was nothing like part one , I must say i was very disappointed.

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