Dave's Rating:

2.0

Sometimes awesome trailers lie to you.

Who's In It: Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Ne-Yo, Bridget Moynahan, Michael Pena, Ramon Rodriguez

The Basics: Battle battle battle meteors oh wait not meteors they’re alive and battle battle battle monster machines blowing up everything all over the world at the same time and battle battle battle marines and their boss is stone-dull Aaron Eckhart but he’s not going to man up and save anyone battle battle BOOM BOOM BOOM EXPLOSIONS ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR 116 MINUTES JUST NONSTOP EXPLOSIONS and finally here comes Michelle Rodriguez who you know is going to kill all those aliens at the same time all by herself BOOM BOOM BOOM MORE EXPLOSIONS battle battle battle next sequel stop is Paris or Beijing or Tokyo or wherever this one makes the most money.

What’s The Deal: There are thoughtful movie watchers who care about plot, characterization, imagination, humanity and art, about films that push boundaries in both content and form. And then there’s the rest of you knuckleheads. If you’re in the latter camp, you’re gonna love this. It kicks Skyline’s stupid ass. And if you’re in the former group, think about this: There are times in life when you’re feeling busted and lazy, both in body and mind. In those times, it’s okay to enjoy a movie like this, one that’s nonstop sensation and jarring idiot chaos. All you want is stuff to blow up, passably designed aliens (whose spacecraft are significantly cooler-looking) and extreme loudness. Here’s where to get it.

The New King Of All Fighting Stuff: Michelle Rodriguez, as The Michelle Rodriguez Character. Not only is she the only spark of human life here, she’s the only one that seems physically capable of doling out brutal justice to giant half-machine-half-monster spacemen. Everything about her is Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton and “How ya like me now?” If they make another one, let her be Aaron Eckhart’s lord and master.

The Recipe: One part War of the Worlds, one part generic stoic army guy movie from 1957 set during WWII, one part Independence Day, one part goofy dialogue that makes it seem like the screenwriter watched Airplane! a lot and 1,000 parts Black Hawk Down. Put in blender. Drink it. Throw up. Drink more of it.

Not Kidding About That Airplane! Thing Either: There’s a really funny moment where Aaron Eckhart, who lost a lot of troops in his last doomed mission, is confronted by a downed soldier’s brother. Eckhart offers a heartfelt, regretful apology and then, on a dime, announces, ‘BUT NONE OF THAT MATTERS RIGHT NOW!” and off they go to fight more monsters. It’s almost worth the price of a ticket all by itself.

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Comments (50)

Anon - 3-11-2011 3:58 PM
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DJ, really? You review movies? I can hardly understand what your trying to say in that short little paragraph and your giving advice to other critics and moviegoers? In school didn't they teach you how to put a sentence together so your message doesn't get lost in a garbled mess? I haven't even seen the film yet, but I know from looking at other reviews that no one has anything positive to say about it. You would be the only one.

Bryce - 3-11-2011 4:37 PM
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Ok being a critic is like being a high member in the gov't. No matter what you do people are gonna hate you. But its not you fault its thiers if they don't like your reviews just be smart and don't read them..... duh.... come on guys this guy probley puts up with enough crap as it is so just leave him alone and try his job and so how you are treated

Bob - 3-11-2011 4:43 PM
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Mankind vs an Alien invader with light years more advanced technology? LOL America can't send a spaceship into orbit more than 10 times without a disaster, and you want us to believe in this garbage???

robert - 3-11-2011 9:38 PM
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this movie sucked and i consider myself to be a "knucklehead". I laughed through the whole thing it seemed like a 5th grader wrote the script and the acting was absolutely terrible. There was very little plot and the action wasnt very good either. Some stuff blowing up here and there but no real violence past some minimal alien killing. This movie doesnt compare to independence day or black hawk down, but the script was almost as funny as Airplane!'s. overall, i wasnt sure by the end if the director was trying to spoof alien movies like independence day or cloverfield or something. I was disappointed becaus the trailer was so awesome, but the movie was so bad

J.R. - 3-12-2011 3:19 AM
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haha the dialogue in this movie was hilarious. i've played video games with better soldier dialogue than this movie. good action though. decent flick

Pete - 3-12-2011 7:45 AM
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Yes there is some horrible acting in this movie and very cliche scenarios but this is a movie where the action covers it up nicely. And did you really think this was going to be Oscar winning material? No, it's just an action packed ride, where the world (well mostly LA) stands together to fight aliens. It's a good movie not a great one.

whit - 3-12-2011 8:17 AM
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I Am A real MOVIE Guy-! A Real Movie Watcher of all Genre's of Movies, and Most of the time I agree with dave. But On this One I MUST DISAGREE. I THINK was the BEST acting Aaron Eckhart Ever Did, He's Not that Great Or Bad Of an actor, he Has just Never Been an Important, or very MEMORABLE actor. BEFORE I read Dave's Review I Said To A Friend, That this Movie Is A MASH-UP of BLACKHAWK DOWN, And INDEPENDENCE Day, Minus Will Smith-! I Thought It Was Pretty Good! I saw Kings Speech Last week-! Thought that it was PRetty Good Too-! This Type Of Movie Is Not Designed For the Little Subtleties of a Romantic comedy, or a suspence Thriller, This is a great GUY Movie-!!! When I watch a Guy Movie I DONT WANT TO SEE NO Softness, Sadness,or Hand Holdin

Doo Laka - 3-12-2011 8:30 AM
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Saw this pile of doo yesterday and Dave White's review is spot on. I love sci-fi/action/great escapist movies, but Battle LA is the most boring action-packed, non-stop shaking camera, lifeless-character, movie I have seen in recent memory. It tries to rehash images & plotlines from other movies (District 9 & Independence Day came to mind while watching it) but forgets to make it interesting. Appearently, all aliens now make the same shucka-shucka sound. The director must have used his DJ license to sample other film's alien sounds. I didn't make the Airplane connection to Eckhart's hackneyed dialog, but that still would not have justified the ticket price. Save your cash on this one.

the dog - 3-12-2011 8:55 AM
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the trailer ruled. the movie was fun.acting could of been better but the action made up for it.

George - 3-12-2011 9:45 AM
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Just watch the movie it was great.. I think you must be flamming, not to like the movie

Rand - 3-12-2011 12:11 PM
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Saw this movie yesterday and thought it was great. Lots of action. Also, gave some insight into the squad and platoon level tactics used by the aliens and marines, which was kind of unique as far as alien movies go.

BROOKIE - 3-12-2011 7:32 PM
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I almost slept thu the movie except it is so noisy.YES!! NOISE.IT TRIES HARD THOUGH but failed to be convincing. I wish they would give me back my money!!!!!!!!!

Ginny - 3-13-2011 11:05 AM
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Haha whit, you sound like a real movie buff.

Rachael - 3-13-2011 12:48 PM
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Went to see this to appease my husband, and because Michelle Rodriguez was a total bad ass on Lost. Gotta love her! The movie was pretty forgetable in itself, Lord I hope there is never a sequel. And how dare you all say Dave only likes the "time piece" movies, have you never read his reviews on the total horror bloodbaths most people would never watch the trailer for? He gives it at least 4 stars if 100 or more people spew guts and brains and blood all over the place. Totally "flamming," right??

Dave - 3-13-2011 3:01 PM
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Everyone that says this movie is bad is INSANE! This movie was "GREAT AND AWESOME" in that it had a decent plot and had action to support it to make it entertaining. It is the opposite of SKYLINE, which was a complete disappointment in every regard. Please watch the movie before you give a critic because this guy is way off.

Bob - 3-13-2011 3:02 PM
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u must be crazy right battle los angeles is one of the best movies ive ever seen so u must be blind if u think it is a bad movie. and the explosions are one of the best parts so i must disagree on ur reveiw

Samba - 3-13-2011 5:16 PM
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Dave White is such an asshole. The movie is great. Its a scifi movie. Its about a group of soldiers surviving LA. So if you do not like it go watch titanic or some other movie that involves a lot of drama. This movie was so exciting that i forgot drink my soda when watching it.

phillip chipunov - 3-13-2011 5:18 PM
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dude this guy(Dave whitever ur name is) must have not watched the movie but he doesn't know what his talking about . the only thing is do agree is it does blow skyline out of the water by more then 1000 times over. i should get this guys job this guy doesn't know how be a critic. i gave it 4 out 5.

jack - 3-13-2011 5:48 PM
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Dave white. You are a piece of work. No open mind and if you weren't stuffing your face with food you would be able to see the movie. You suck balls.

that guy - 3-13-2011 8:34 PM
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I haven't seen this movie yet, but it seems a little silly to expect a summer "popcorn" movie such as this to have much depth. It's just like the people who hated on transformers, its a movie about giant robots kicking the hell out of each other. If every movie that came out was like Forest Gump, or The King's Speech, those movies wouldn't be so amazing... they'd just be normal. We need films like these to just straight up entertain. If you can't enjoy the occasional no brainer action, horror or comedy film, I feel sorry for you.

Leo - 3-14-2011 3:02 AM
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ya well poor dave couldnt see the movie... what can you expect from a fatty??? a good review?? he spent the whole 2hours eating... LMFAO!!!!!..screw all of you with your bad reviews, you didnt like it then you are not made for this type of action movie.. go watch titanic or any other chick flick crap like that.

Amaldetroit - 3-14-2011 2:26 PM
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Loved it! was on the edge of my seat the whole movie. Wanted something to get my blood boiling and this was definitely it.

Johnny - 3-14-2011 2:35 PM
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Who asked for this chump's opinion anyway. The whole movie going premise (at least for the consumer) is sit down and be prepared to be entertained, and guess what we were totally entertained - that's an economic reality my friend. I watched this at the cinemadrome and the whole audience loved it. So sorry Dave - perhaps you are getting jaded. Too many free movie tickets maybe causing this cynicism! Does your editor read any of these comments. No more action type movies for you buddy.

rojo - 3-14-2011 9:08 PM
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It always amazes me what movies polarize watchers the most when it comes to reviews. To the Battle: L.A. fanboys, you do realize we are talking about Battle: L.A., right? It's not some movie that's got political and social significance up the wa-hoo, it's a popcorn movie aimed to numb and please. For the savvy, go see Rango, which I've heard is an excellent film. And, lastly, to Dave: keep on truckin', homeboy macho man! Your reviews are witty, well-written, and succinct. Cheers!

ajdennis - 3-14-2011 10:04 PM
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As a 19 yr old red blooded american who proudly serves in the United States Marine Corps i just wanna say Dave u suck

Balthazar - 3-15-2011 7:58 AM
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This movie is great, actually its better than Avatar. As its not trying to preach and call all military people craven butchers. A great movie that isnt trying to bring politics into it, what a refreshing thought!

MarkA - 3-15-2011 10:43 AM
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Wow...maybe we were better off without the comments. Some of you people really need to get a life.

AustinL - 3-15-2011 11:22 AM
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I gotta say Dave, I've been coming to this site for years now just to read your reviews. Time after time they (the reviews) impress me both for the quality in which they are written and the insights they offer a less knowledgeable moviegoer. More than once I have discovered, mentioned within a review for another movie, truly inspiring films, films I would never would have discovered on my own. Thank you for that - and don't let the a@@holes in the comments section here get to you - you have far more fans than detractors. PS This movie kinda sucked

FilmStudent - 3-15-2011 11:38 AM
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There is a reason why the camera shakes so much. In fact, they do it on purpose to give the audience a certain feeling. Yeah, the story and acting sucked, but what's new. This movie will at least keep you awake with all the explosions and guns blazing. The only thing that really made this movie "not so great" for me was the fact that they used the word "Marine" like over a hundred times in the movie. I have nothing against Marines and have the utmost respect for them, but the movie just seemed more like a 2 hour Marine commercial than a real movie. In fact, I strongly believe that 99% of Marines will really hate Dave after reading his review. Not because of his overall review of the movie, but because of his negative review of a "Mar

wehavefilm - 3-15-2011 3:09 PM
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THISS MOVIE IS AMAAAZZZZIIIINNNGGG!!!!!!!! ppl who think otherwise are just dumb haters....peace!!!!

E-man - 3-15-2011 7:31 PM
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Dave is a hater. Instead of looking at a film for its entertainment value he simply looks at it for its dramatic, and originality value. All those things are important but I saw and enjoyed the movie that was the point of going to the movies, to be entertained. If you like action watch it. I for one loved the fact that unlike most Alien movies it was done in a realistic war style similar to Black hawk down, something you never really see. I understand him hating Transformers, Twilight, and ANY remake thats ever come out but sometimes i think he needs to detach himself from all the bull that makes him hate action movies and enjoy a movie simply for its entertainment value.

misterclock - 3-16-2011 1:57 PM
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@dave white: I agree with you 100%. As war movies go, B:LA is a step backwards.

Fuzzy - 3-16-2011 4:19 PM
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As soon as he said the only people who would like this movie are Knuckleheads ... I was sold. From his description - No Plot / All Action - That's what made me go. He didn't like the movie, but he actually told me I would like it. So, I'm a Knuckle Head. :P

Boggan - 3-18-2011 12:53 AM
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Simply put: Dave white is a genius and this movie is for idiots.

Manny - 3-19-2011 10:26 AM
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Holy Moly, This review seems pretty spot on, but thats not why I am commenting. This guy is allowed to have an opinion. It is absolutely not OK to call someone a name for expressing an opinion. That is all a review is. An opinion. Adults disagree by citing reasons and facts. Not by calling someone an asshole. I think the root problem is the persons attacking him are the kinds of people (ie nitwits) so full of themselves that they see their own opinions as hard and true facts, so assume anyone who disagrees must be attacking them.

gina - 3-19-2011 5:19 PM
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I don't care if I agree with Dave's critique of a movie or not. His reviews are so funny and entertaining.

Doug - 3-19-2011 8:48 PM
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If the movie was so bad, then why were people in the theater applauding at the end of the movie? Even avatar didn't get clapped at (even though it was a good movie). If you don't like the genre, you have no real reason to review the movie. just my opinion.

Ric - 3-21-2011 7:07 PM
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I Luvd this flick

pdirty07 - 3-21-2011 9:38 PM
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This movie is ass cheeks, the action was boring and generic, the soldier speech was silly and pointless ,aliens invading la who gives afuck about ur brother who died the last tour out come on? this movie loud and stupid the aliens was always ten feet from the camera all u saw was shiny objects and the aliens was lookin like the predator and oh yea they wantes earths water ,point blank this movie sucked i want my money back

Rob - 3-22-2011 6:13 AM
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The fact that people are stupid enough to say this was a good movie is part of what it wrOng with world. This movie was so bad it's not funny. If aliens really did attack I'd throw all you in the front line and let them kill you. I that didn't work I'd hop in their space ship and et the he'll off this planet and away from you idiots. Seriously, to name one redeeming quality about this movie is like actually being abducted by aliens. It's not gonna happen, if it does? Your probably a redneck and you don't count anyway.

Robert - 3-22-2011 3:19 PM
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100% of the people defending this movie will be the same people waiting in line to see Transformers 3. So take it with a grain of salt. Unfortunately, Hollywood is making movies for THEM. They get 10,000 stupid-ass, plotless, "blowed up real good" movies for every 1 action movie made for adults (like District 9 or Inception), but Lord help the reviewer if he speaks the truth about it. Take a bow, you mouth-breathing idiots. Movies are being catered to you now. I'd spend more time enjoying the ride and less time trying to "defend" these crapfests.

Lee - 3-24-2011 10:15 PM
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If you don't like girls, you probably won't like this movie

Andrew - 3-26-2011 8:39 PM
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In my honest opinion all critics are idiots to begin with. I look at this guys reveiews of all movies and the only one to score anything decent was some dumbass no name film that any social person would have no clue about. Just cause a movie isn't jam packed with all the dramatic original bullshit all you uptight morons ask for doesn't make it a bad film. HENCE THE REASON FOR DIFFERENT GENRE'S. If you don't like a particular genre much, stay the F&%K out, cause those of us who do like them won't give a damn about your pointless two cents. Your only purpose in putting in these critques is to get a rise of of the communities that do like them. Whether the movie is a repeat idea of others doesn't mean crap, it can still be equally liked.

Andrew - 3-26-2011 8:44 PM
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So I guess my ultimate point was this, Critique the genres you like and leave the other to people who like them. Critique something you NEVER liked in the first place makes no damn sense, cause then you are just bashing something with a one-sided view. That is where the close mindedness comes from. I have yet to see this movie so I can't say I WILL like it, I can say though that i'm sick of 'critics' talking like their opinions are the deciding factor on good or bad movies. Also if you think about it, doesn't it make you critics fools in the first place for spending money on films of genres you never seem to like. Stick to what you know and like please and stop annoying the communities that DO/MAY like that which you are so butthurt about.

ilovemovies - 3-27-2011 1:57 PM
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wow dave you are an idiot my friend, first of all battle LA does have a plot, and a story line. of course its going to have alot of action thats what seperates it from skyline, war of the worlds, and all those other stupid alien movies that has no action and iys just a bunch of people running around. This movie is one of the best i have seen. today iam going to be watching "sucker punch" i think your just gay if you dont like the movie? why... because its half naked women with guns, i mean who wouldnt want to watch that? i sure do! anyways dave just stop your a terrible critic! i mean who puts... BOOM BOOM BOOM ALIENS SHOOTING METEORS BOOM BOOM... your just stupid!

karios - 3-28-2011 9:09 PM
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This is a great movie to go see if you're having uncontrollable seizures. You'll be having the same experience as the rest of us.

Zubair - 4-03-2011 9:35 PM
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Movie was awesome, i think this guy is being paid by one of the star's who hasn't been given the role in this movie.. Stop behaving like a kid and let the people watch the movie. Last but not the least, you are not paying for the ticket...

MB - 4-08-2011 11:25 AM
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This movie is a turd! I love well made movies of all types (from Schindler's List to Scream to Inception). But the key phrase is "well made". This donk of a movie was bad in all ways. Terrible story, boring action that was hard to follow, and flat characters. As for Dave, I don't think half of the commentators have read his other reviews. Dave is highly eclectic in his movie tastes (for God Sakes, he liked Human Centipede). So please quit assuming he only likes high brow drama. Your a good reviewer Dave. keep up the good work! Ps, this movie was awful!!!!!!!

TM - 5-01-2011 3:21 PM
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This is not a great movie. But it is a movie many people will have fun watching. This guy Don or Dan or Dave...or whatever his name is, is an awful reviewer. I've tried reading several of his reviews in the past and it's brutal reading. He's more interested in his own attempts at devoloping his own shtick, than writing a thoughtful review. One of the lost arts of movie reviewing, is the ability to realize that most movies will have some kind of audience that enjoys it. Good movie reviewers used to understand that and create their reviews in a manner that were helpful. And don't get me started on this guy's attempts to come up with cutsie-cutsie headliners for his reviews. Talk about dull. Generally speaking, the movi

Steven - 6-16-2011 12:39 AM
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Terrible movie. I do not excuse the director for making an IndependenceDay/Cloverfield/Aliens/BlackhawkDown/United 93/District 9 rip-off without having what arguably made those movies pretty good - soul, character, and depth - and the obviously aweful dialogue made me want to stop watching about 10 minutes into it.

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