Dave's Rating:

1.0

… nothing happened.

Who's in It: Donald Sutherland, Sissy Spacek, Rachel Hurd-Wood, James D'Arcy

The Basics: Superstitious slaveholders have a ghost in their house. But it's kind of a lazy ghost. It seems content to pull their young daughter's hair, slap her face a bit and steal the covers off her bed. You wouldn't even need all the Ghostbusters to take care of this thing. Just maybe Ernie Hudson. He could handle it on his lunch break.

What's the Deal? Horror fans are suckers. They'll go see anything that even vaguely resembles a scary movie. They're like junkies dying for even the crappiest of fixes. I know this because I'm one, too. I went to the press screening and was like, "Well, it's got 'haunting' in the title, so maybe something awesome will happen." Then nothing happened. Seriously nothing. Sissy Spacek makes her bug-eyed Carrie face once. That's it.

Things the Dumb White People Try in Order to Rid Themselves of the Ghost: They have this religious guy over for dinner, and he yells at the spirit. That works for a bit. Then it stops working. Then one of the slaves pipes in and explains how ghosts work. Because slaves know all about that hoodoo. Plus, they're so loyal and eager to help their owners get rid of a spirit that slaps them in the face constantly. If you were a slave, you'd go, "Sure, whatever. Let it smack you around some more. I'm really kind of busy right now, what with washing your clothes and harvesting your crops and being your lifelong slave and all."

Funniest Donald Sutherland Line: He gets all serious and voice-boomy and goes, "She was suspended in thin air by something NOT OF THIS EARTH!"

Annoying Horror Movie Cheating: I will not rest until filmmakers stop punctuating "shock" moments with huge thunderclaps of soundtrack. Ghost pulls covers off girl's bed? Make it sound like an explosion! It's a pain in my ears.

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