Dave White
After.Life Review

Dave's Rating:


Victoria's Secret Product Placement of the Dead

Who's In It: Christina Ricci, Liam Neeson, Justin Long, Josh Charles, Chandler Canterbury, Celia Weston

The Basics: Christina Ricci is dead. Or IS SHE? She thinks she's alive and she likes to prove it to herself by writhing around nearly nude on her embalming slab. But funeral director Liam Neeson keeps telling her she's dead and insists on locking her in the mortuary's prep room. He can speak to the dead. Unless he can't. And this is the Black Snake Moan of Ghost Dad remakes. With major boob flashing. Unless I'm wrong. The eerie neighborhood boy thinks she's alive, too. But then again he may be able to speak to the dead himself. In fact, his own mother might be dead. Christina's boyfriend Justin Long also thinks she's alive. She called him on his cell phone, after all. But if you saw One Missed Call then you know that dead spirits are big fans of cell phone use. Look, it's all pretty complicated. You should just go see it for yourself. Unless you shouldn't.

What's The Deal: I love movies like this. They revel in ambiguity as a way to get away with being incomprehensible and, when all else fails, they lay on the nudity and spooky lighting like a tipsy Transylvanian foreign exchange student who keeps asking "Am I supernaturally thrilling you yet? Am I? Will we make macabre erotic love soon? Yes?" It's the kind of film that thinks it wants to blow your mind with a radical theology of No Heaven, No Hell, No God, Yes Liam Neeson, but is really more concerned with looking sleek and dark and dumbly sexy. And by that I mean it is 100% idiotically enjoyable.

You Will Also Enjoy This Film's Deep Wisdom Thoughts: Exhibit A
Christina: Why do we die?
Liam: To make life important.
Exhibit B
Liam: You all say you're scared of death but the truth is you're scared of life.
Christina: I'm glad I'm dead.

Why Christina Ricci Is A National Treasure: Because you watch her in stuff like this and you realize that no one else could sell it the way she does. Her face was genetically engineered to play spooky sexy dead girls and she's not only utterly convincing as someone resting seductively in a no-woman's-land between corpse bride and lingerie model status, but you kind of start to actually care about what happens to her.

Best Cameo: The blood-spattered Christina Ricci bobblehead doll that Justin Long rescues from her death car. Every fresh supernatural incident causes the spotty red grin-face to jiggle and bounce. Then an angel of death gets its wings.


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