Who's In It: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Jessica Biel, Quinton Rampage Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Patrick Wilson, Gerald McRaney
The Basics: Someone stole some money-printing plates. Counterfeiters! And then there are some bad Blackwatery guys and even badder CIA guys. The A-Team has, of course, been framed for the theft and held responsible for the death of a miltary general. They have to clear their names and find the people responsible. Could it be someone who's right under their big collective nose? That would just be crazy. Anyway, the part you'll care about most is when they wind up flying a tank that's plummeting to earth under a parachute that was designed specifically to hold a tank. Later a giant shipping tanker explodes and everyone is shooting guns. And most of the time, even in between the noisiest parts, people are still yelling about this and that. It doesn't really matter what.
What's The Deal: If, unlike me, it's not your job to point out the flaws in a movie, you'll be happy to know that all of the machines in this film do their job impeccably. The vehicles go vroom, the guns go bang, the rocket launchers incinerate lots of
people collateral damage unfortunate enough to stumble across their path, helicopters fly upside down the way they do sometimes and bombs burst in air. And on the sea. And in the desert, turning sand into glass. Pretend most of the people aren't in it and you'll have no good reason not to fully enjoy yourself.
Breaking Down What's Wrong With The Cast: Someone was too in love with the sound of Liam Neeson's voice to let him ruin it by puffing on cigars as much as his character should. Bradley Cooper's good looks are not the same thing as putting in the work to direct him to a charismatic performance and he just comes off as grating and entitled. Sharlto Copley's accents are fun but once they establish him as the "crazy one" he's got nothing to do but re-enact scenes from Braveheart and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. And Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, for all his physical presence, comes off as threatening as a bowl of Mr. T cereal. With skim milk. What I'm trying to say is that I blame the director.
Best Scene: When Jackson and Neeson sit around talking about Gandhi. No joke. It happens. And Neeson reasons that if Gandhi were here he want them to START KILLING EVERYONE. Not long before or after this moment--honestly, I forget where--he also says, "Overkill is underrated." Right on, Schindler's List Guy.
Blink And You'll Miss: Dirk Benedict, who played the Cooper role in the original TV series. He doesn't have much to do but there he is, on camera, bestowing what I assume is a blessing on the proceedings and counting every penny of the paycheck.