Dave's Rating:


… the obnoxious wake-up call that An Inconvenient Truth was too polite to be.

Who's in It: Leonardo DiCaprio

The Basics: This just in — we're all doomed. That is, unless we stop trying to destroy the world we live in. Much like in last year's carbon-foot-printed jamboree of terror, An Inconvenient Truth, this documentary sounds the alarm even more loudly and more freaked-out-ishly about how we're all going to die in 30 years unless we stop acting like we aren't part of the environment we keep raping and pillaging. And that's the kicker: This movie asserts that it's not the "environment" that's going to die. It's us. The Earth will regenerate, and will do so happily, after we've made ourselves extinct.

What's the Deal? Let's say you don't "believe" in global warming. Like it was some kind of religious faith without scientific facts backing it up. That just means you're nuts, and this movie isn't for you. For everyone else, it's — for all its hippie-hemp flaws in tone, which I'll get to in a second — is the obnoxious wake-up call that An Inconvenient Truth was too sober and polite to be. It should really be on primetime network television instead of getting a limited release in big-city theaters. I assume there was some logic at work in that decision, but seriously, Mr. DiCaprio Producer Guy, get this onto one of the big three networks ASAP if you want it to make any difference.

Clips of Anarchist Protestors Beating Drums for Trees Doesn't Help Your Cause: Yes, they're very committed, those street-protesting drummers. And they cared first. They've got the bad fashions to prove it. But when you sprinkle your movie with clips of them and the smiling multicultural faces of People Who Care More Than You Do, You Coke-in-a-Cup-With-a-Non-Biodegradable-Plastic-Lid-Slurping Moviegoer, and they all start talking about loving Mother Earth and ourselves, that's when I start thinking, Shut it! Just tell me how to help the planet and leave me alone!

What Producer Leo Should Do: Everyone knows that people pay more attention to stupid celebrities than to activists and politicians. So L.D. should start publicly calling out superconsuming celebrities who fly in private planes and use millions of gallons of water on their mansion lawns and in their Olympic-size swimming pools. Then there could be a reality show where they're put on eco-trial for their crimes. People would totally watch that, especially if the punishments were humiliating. It could be a weekly series, and there could be consciousness-raising at the end of each episode, like those old G.I. Joe "knowing is half the battle" PSAs. (I have all the great ideas.)

More Realistic Suggestion: Go to 11thhouraction.com for real-life stuff you can do to make an actual difference.


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