Who's in It:
James Marsden, Giovanni Ribisi, Brad Renfro, Piper Perabo, Dennis Hopper, Lesley Ann Warren, Tommy Lee, Brian Dennehy, Val Kilmer
The Basics: A war vet looking to avoid a court martial goes undercover in the mafia in his old neighborhood. You spend the entire running time hoping they find out he's a rat and shoot him in the head.
What's the Deal? You know how you feel so exhilarated when you watch an awesome mob movie like The Godfather or Goodfellas or Donnie Brasco? Well, this one won't make you feel that way.
Thanks, Guy Who Co-Wrote Crash! The lesson of winning an Academy Award is "do more of the same tired, clichéd nonsense." Well that's what it looks like from here, anyway.
Who's Fun to Watch in a Spazzy, Scenery-Devouring Way: Giovanni Ribisi. Normally I'm suspicious of all Scientologist actors just on principle, but he makes this piece of crap at least a little dumb fun.
What You Should Do Instead of Watching This Shoulda-Been-Straight-to-DVD Movie: Start with Episode 1, Season 1 of The Sopranos until you're caught up.