You've Never Experienced Celebrities Like This Before

You've Never Experienced Celebrities Like This Before

Feb 26, 2014


Brandon Cronenberg, son of body-horror auteur David Cronenberg, made his feature debut in 2012 with a film about a celebrity-obsessed future in which a clinic obtains viruses from ill pop-culture stars in order to inject them into clients. Want the same sickness as Madonna or Britney Spears? No problem. Antiviral's cynical view showed us that even pathogens may one day be likened to designer shoes.

Following in those footsteps seems to be BiteLabs. From what we can tell, it's a net art project criticizing celebrity culture/enviro issues, boasting “artisanal celebrity meat” – with tongue firmly planted in cheek (no pun intended). “It all starts with your favorite celebrities, and a quick biopsy to obtain tissue samples. Isolating muscle stem cells, we grow celebrity meat in our proprietary bioreactors,” the website gleefully tells us. “In the tradition of Italian cured meats, we dry, age, and spice our product into fine charcuterie.” Some examples of their cuisine?

James Franco
He's sexy. He's artsy. Let's make him salami
The Franco salami must be smoky, sexy, and smooth. Franco's meat will pair with lean, strong venison. Sharp Tellicherry peppercorns and caramelized onions provide Franco's underlying flavors, complemented by a charming hint of lavender. The Franco salami’s taste will be arrogant, distinctive, and completely undeniable.
Jennifer Lawrence
A different type of Hunger Game
The JLaw salami will be complemented by a mixture of rabbit and pork. A charming and confident flavor profile, the JLaw salami is coarse ground in a rustic style, smoothed with notes of honey, and spiced with orange zest and ginger. Always surprising, this salami will never fail to entertain.
If we had to describe Franco and JLaw as meats, we suppose this is how we’d do it. Nice job, BiteLabs. Keep an eye on the website over here to see how the project develops.

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