Wonder Woman, Conan and the new & improved Transformers

Wonder Woman, Conan and the new & improved Transformers

By Stacie Hougland Sep 23, 2008

1

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen
This Year’s Model Is this the first look at Megatron? If you’re a purist, you no doubt know that Megatron was a gun, not a tank. You should also know that you’re way to old to be obsessing over a cartoon from the ‘80s.
2

Quantum of Solace
Nothing Is Sacred While listening to the theme song, consider that the “Bond, James Bond” line didn’t make the final cut. Heresy! Of course, sticking to the formula is what tanked the franchise in the first place.
3

The Big Lebowski 2
Shut Up, Dudes Philip Seymour Hoffman and Julianne Moore have been yapping about doing a sequel. But so has everybody, and it’s been 10 years. Until I see Jesus back on the screen licking a bowling bowl, I refuse to get my hopes up.
4

Will Ferrell
No Mas He says he’ll never do another sports movie again. Why couldn’t he have made that decision before Semi-Pro?
5

Conan the Barbarian
Dumb It Down Fans are breathing a sigh of relief now that Brett Ratner’s off the project. But isn’t a ham-fisted hack exactly what a project like this needs? It’s a popcorn remake. It’s supposed to be big and stupid. That’s the point. Who are you hoping for, Darren Aronofsky?
6

Wonder Woman
Buzzkill A rumor had the Wachowski brothers directing, but the producer squashed that, and then went on to depress fanboys everywhere by adding that the Amazon princess shouldn’t have to be sexy. Well of course she doesn’t have to be. But can’t she be? Please?
7

Saw V
Sawing Logs The first clip is online, and I simply refuse to watch it. Not because I’m squeamish. Because nobody asked for a fifth Saw movie.
8

Couples Retreat
He’ll Shoot His Eye Out Jon Favreau and Vince Vaughn together again? Rad! Directed by Peter Billingsley, the kid from A Christmas Story? Weird! Someone should let the “I want my two dollars” guy from Better Off Dead direct a flick.
9

Role Models
Oh Snap The red-band trailer features one of the most brutal mom snaps ever delivered, to a child no less. Watch and learn, kids. This is how you properly wreck a young man’s self-esteem.
10

Synecdoche, New York
Points for Honesty I saw this movie at a Sundance conference, and the trailer for Charlie Kaufman’s latest is nearly as tough to sit through. If you want to impress pretentious film students, say it’s “challenging.” I call it “irritating.”