Wonder Woman casting, a Will Smith-Spielberg teamup, Australia spoilers and more

Wonder Woman

Dirty Diana In real news, McG has signed on to direct and Beyoncé is lobbying to play the Amazon princess. In fake news, some fanboy’s crude movie poster has Megan Fox starring. His Photoshop skills are crap, but he’s got good taste in Wonder Women.

Star Trek

Star Dex? Anyone else think the Kirk poster looks like a knockoff of a Dexter ad?

First Avenger: Captain America

Give Peace a Chance It’s got a director, finally. Still not sure this is the best climate to make a movie with “America” and “Avenger” in the title. Can’t we just give vengeance a rest and let the world dig us for electing Obama?

Command Performance

Drum Roll, Please The teaser proves two things: 1) Dolph Lundgren is, apparently, still alive, and 2) He can sorta play the drums. Also, he keeps a pistol stuffed in the ass of his pants. Beat that, Tommy Lee.

The Danish Girl

Mmm … Danish Nicole Kidman will play a tranny who’s engaged to Charlize Theron. Guess I can cross movie fantasy number 27 off the checklist …

Oldboy

Put It in Your Netflix Queue Watch the ass-kicking 2003 South Korean action flick now so you can be a proper indie film snob and bitch about the bastardized Spielberg/Will Smith remake in 2010!

Dance Flick vs. Not Another Not Another Movie

Here’s a Tough Question: Would you rather sit through a double feature of the Wayan Brothers’ Step Up spoof and a spoof of spoof movies or suck on the business end of a shotgun? Me, too.

Australia

You Call That a Spoiler? This Is a Spoiler! In the original version, Hugh Jackman died. That made test audiences sad. So they changed the ending. Now Nicole Kidman dies! Not really. I’m pretty sure they both live, and put shrimp on the barbie and box with kangaroos and drink Foster’s Lager. That’s pretty much the sum total of my knowledge of Australia. Which I’m pretty sure is an island. Or a continent.

Up

Downer Not a good sign when the teaser is basically a clip show reminding you of all the other Pixar movies you’ve paid to see.

The Beaver

Sock It to 'Em Steve Carell will play a guy who wears a beaver sock puppet on his hand. And talks to it. Well, hopefully he just talks to it.