Wolverine trailer kicks ass, Catwoman's return and New Moon's new director

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Mutant Madness You can put too many villains in a Batman movie, but the more baddies crammed into an X-Men flick, the better. The prequel’s trailer features Gambit, Sabretooth, The Blob, Silver Fox, Deadpool, Agent Zero, John Wraith, Emma Frost and Weapon XI. I’ve watched this clip about a dozen times. I can’t stop. It’s becoming a problem. I’m not getting any work done. I haven’t showered. Or slept. All I can do is watch the trailer and wait until my Outlook reminder tells me it’s opening weekend.

X-Men Origins: Magneto

X-tortion Here’s another reason to go see Wolverine: the fate of this X-Men prequel depends on it. So I guess now they’re using guilt-trips to get us to spend money.

Batman 3

In the Meow Mix Speaking of Batman villains, the next one might be Catwoman, as played by Rachel Weisz. Let me talk you down from the cliff from which you’re about to hurl yourself: I know the Halle Berry movie Catwoman was horrible. Like you, if given the choice, I’d rather each some litter box Almond Roca than watch it again. But remember the Michelle Pfeiffer version of the character – pretty rad. It’s all about recycling the right nemesis. I’ll start worrying if anyone mentions the Riddler or Mr. Freeze.

New Moon

Pie Fill-in Pretty sure nobody will ever spill a non-BS reason why Catherine Hardwicke was replaced by the director of American Pie. (Scheduling conflicts? Seriously?) But a good werewolf pie-humping gag or a vampire choking down a glass of spunky blood might be enough to make me care about the Twilight sequel.

Terminator Salvation

Full Meal Deal Last week, it was the teaser, and now we get the whole enchilada. Needless to say, there is some seriously mind-blowing evil robot mayhem. And time-travel plot points that sort of confuse me if I stop to think about them. But who cares? Thanks to the Internet, I have the attention span of a meth-addled puppy and am easily distracted by explosions.

The Crow Remake

Don’t Tempt Fate I’m not a superstitious guy, but I would not want to be the dude taking over for Brandon Lee.

The Proposal

I Do! I’m just going to come right out and say it: I have a weakness for Sandra Bullock movies. She’s so cute and funny and stuff! And she’s always in movies with crazy plots about, say, a woman who’s gotta marry Ryan Reynolds in order to avoid being deported to Canada! Guess I’ll be the only straight guy in the audience on opening night. Same as Sex and the City.

Knowing

Here’s the Pitch It’s The Mothman Prophecies meets The Number 23, only with Nic Cage, a time capsule and some kid who doesn’t have any lines! Pretty sure you’ll be better off burying your 12 bucks and digging it up two hours later.

Inglourious Basterds

Must Love ‘Stache Brad Pitt’s got such a sweet-ass mustache in Quentin Tarantino’s new war movie. Look at it. It’s mesmerizing. How come when I grow a mustache I look like a perv, but when he does it, it looks all suave and debonair and crap?

Sherlock Holmes

Abs of Steel I think if I worked out for six months and shaved my chest, I might be able to approximate the level of buffness attained by Robert Downey Jr. in this shot of Sherlock Holmes. Which it is to say, still pretty scrawny, and in need of a shirt.