Wolverine, Justice League, The Hobbit and other geeky news

Wolverine

Poker Face The trailer’ll be here on Dec. 12, and the first photo of Gambit has the villain playing cards while wearing a sweet purple satin shirt. Trust me, I know from firsthand experience that satin shirts get the babes.

The Hobbit

Bilboner Two movies. A 370-day shooting schedule. Animatronics and CGI combined to make a super-realistic Smaug. Is it heresy to think that this might be cooler than Lord of the Rings?

Justice League

Out of Their League? Director George Miller has dropped out, throwing the troubled superhero flick back into development hell. Silver lining? The studio wants to ditch the cast of no-names and recast. Not so fast. It was already too expensive, and famous people tend to want famous-size paychecks. That won’t exactly be easy. Translation: JLA is dead.

Iron Man 2

Casting Call This will likely only mean something to comic book geeks, but an audition breakdown that found its way online gives hints that Crimson Dynamo and Black Widow might be the secondary and tertiary villains. See that? I just used the word “tertiary.” Thank you, English degree.

Genesis: Apes

Monkey Business The Planet of the Apes prequel is really happening. It’s got a real director and everything. The only thing missing: some studio exec with the common sense to say, “Whoa – anyone remember that Tim Burton remake? People literally hurled feces at the screen while watching that mess. Maybe not literally. I suppose 'figuratively' is the word I’m looking for. But still. What are we thinking making a prequel!?”

Terminator: Salvation

The Commute Just Got Worse In the animated version of the poster, Los Angeles is destroyed … and all that’s left in the aftermath is an angry Terminator face. I’ve spent an hour on Google maps and I can’t for the life of me find the freeway overpass that’s shaped like a skull. Probably in the Valley.

Beverly Hills Cop IV

Judge-ment Day I was pretty sure that this sequel would blow all kinds of goats, until hearing that it’d start with Judge Reinhold falling to his death from a 20-story building. And not a bad day’s work for Mr. Reinhold: Show up for one afternoon. Say a couple lines while standing on a fake precipice. Watch stunt double jump from building. Cash check. Go home.

The Great Buck Howard

Buck This The teaser does the impossible: It renders Jon Stewart and Conan O’Brien unfunny.

Green Lantern

Lights Out Names mentioned to star: Ryan Gosling, Matthew Settle, David Boreanaz. Rumored cameo: Young Clark Kent, in either Brandon Routh or Tom Welling form. Pretty sure the comic book movie bubble is about to burst when we’re talking about some bit player from Gossip Girl wearing a magic ring that enables him to, among other things, control the minds of dolphins.

The Ugly Truth vs. He’s Just Not That Into You

Dating Games One trailer features a douchebag teaching clueless idiots how to score with the ladies. The other trailer features clueless ladies chasing after douchebags. And they’ve both got that douchebag from Entourage. If your intelligence isn’t insulted by both these chick flicks, you probably deserve whatever boyfriend or girlfriend is currently treating you like crap.