What Movie Does Michael Bay Owe an Apology For?

What Movie Does Michael Bay Owe an Apology For?

Apr 23, 2013

In an interview with the Miami Herald, Michael Bay is quoted as saying, "I will apologize for Armageddon, because we had to do the whole movie in 16 weeks. It was a massive undertaking. That was not fair to the movie. I would redo the entire third act if I could."

He has now retracted this apology, claiming that the journalist twisted his words. In a posting to his own website, he states that it is true that he wishes he had more time to edit the 1998 disaster movie, but that doesn't mean he's ashamed of it. "I’m not in the slightest going to apologize for the third movie in my movie career... today Armageddon is still one of the most shown movies on cable TV. And yes, I’m proud of the movie. Enough said."

So while he's clearly not the most eloquent writer of public statements and his measure of success is still defended in terms of its business achievements, he is not sorry about the movie. And he shouldn't be. It has its cheesy bits and a relatively weak third act, but it's also got a lot of great moments for what it is (a Michael Bay movie). I'd still watch it regularly today if it weren't for the meteor destruction of NYC being so much of an uncomfortable reminder of 9/11 with its nonchalant "probably terrorism" comment and smoking World Trade Center. That's not his fault, of course.

If there's any movie we deserve an apology for, it's likely The Rock. Wait, I know, that's his best movie. That's the point. It's still his only positively reviewed feature (i.e. the only one with a fresh red tomato icon on Rotten Tomatoes), as a director or producer, and so it sort of gave us false hope. Okay, maybe The Rock isn't good enough to have such a belief. In that case, he does probably need to apologize for Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, if only for how racist and crude it is if not also for how much worse it is than even the original installment. 

And even if the third movie, Transformers: Dark of the Moon, hadn't somewhat redeemed him for the franchise alone, it's still his worst directorial effort. But not his worst work as a producer. He should apologize for the whole slew of horror remakes he's overseen (The Amityville Horror, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street). And even if it's not his worst movie anymore, he could apologize to the World War II vets for turning the bombing of Pearl Harbor into a corny soap opera with a huge tragedy being exploited for action spectacle. 

One thing he shall never apologize for, though, is his music video for "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls. Not only is it sexy, but it was (mostly for the song itself) pretty sexually progressive and freeing to see in 1991 (three years later the U.S. surgeon general was even canned for promoting masturbation). Of course I mainly bring it up to remember singer Chrissy Amphlett, who died Sunday. But it's true.



What movie should Michael Bay apologize for?

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