Even if you don't follow football and couldn't care less which teams are currently duking it out in the playoffs, chances are you still know the name Tim Tebow. Who is Tim Tebow and why won't people shut the hell up about him? Well long story short, Tim Tebow is a young quarterback for the Denver Broncos who took over as their starting quarterback earlier in the year when the Broncos were 1-4 and heading toward another cruddy season. Since then the team has been miraculously winning games (usually with little time left on the clock) -- so much so that it catapulted them into the playoffs where, yesterday, they defeated the heavily-favored Pittsburgh Steelers in overtime, advancing them to play the New England Patriots next week.
Much of their success has been attributed to Tebow, even though many still feel he's a mediocre quarterback who's getting a little too lucky. Considering the fact that he's very religious (he was born in the Philippines where his parents were serving as missionaries), many claim Tebow's lucky run is somehow god's doing. We're not sure god cares that much about who wins the Super Bowl, but hey -- you never know.
But regardless of what happens from here on out, Tebow is football's new golden boy. He's so popular -- and has amassed such a huge following -- that we're positive Hollywood will come knocking sooner or later (our buddy Sean O'Connell, writing for Cinema Blend, already thinks he can become the next O.J. Simpson, minus the whole killing his wife thing we hope). So, with that in mind, we'll help get them started with five movie roles Tim Tebow could tackle during the offseason.
1. Jesus Christ
This is the obvious first choice since folks are already comparing Tim Tebow to the religious icon, mainly because it's the only true explanation as to why Denver keeps winning. Is Tim Tebow really Jesus Christ? Has Jesus returned to earth to wipe us out, only to decide to take the form of an NFL quarterback to kill some time before the end of times? Either way we're sure a studio would make some serious money off a movie about Jesus starring Tebow, and assuming he keeps winning in the playoffs, those box office receipts immediately double with each victory.
2. The 24-Year-Old Virgin
Did you know Tim Tebow is still a virgin? Yup, as recent as a mid-December Cosmopolitan article, the NFL's most popular quarterback is still a virgin and waiting till marriage. It's like The Blind Side meets Judd Apatow, and the film could make even more money should a studio convince Tebow to lose his virginity on camera to Mila Kunis.
3. A Priest in The Devil Inside Me 2
Since it opened with $35 million this weekend (after Paramount picked it up for only $1 million), you know the studio will be itching to make a sequel immediately. And hey, why not get a special guest star to play the role of Good-Looking Priest during the film's zaniest exorcism scene? C'mon Paramount, this could get you an extra $10 million at the box office!
4. John Elway
Because when the Denver Broncos get butchered next week against the New England Patriots -- serving the entire city of Denver a much-needed wake-up call -- folks are going to want to travel back to a time when the team had a legitimate quarterback who knew how to win a Super Bowl. And we think we know who'd be perfect as Elway!
5. Tim Tebow
Just in case they somehow find a way to make it to the Super Bowl and win the big game, the story of this team's trials and tribulations will most certainly make for a great, inspirational sports movie. If that's the case, Tebow needs to play himself, and he needs to grow out his beard a bit more to play up the Jesus angle without throwing it in our faces, ya know. Like hip, contemporary, twenty-something Jesus, which is kinda what he looks like now.