During any given week, Hollywood churns out more stupidity than Lindsay Lohan and her posse on a Friday night. Luckily, though, a lot of it will go undetected, overshadowed by smarter, more thought-provoking ideas. But where’s the fun in that? Columns like this exist for the sole purpose of pointing out those concepts that just … well … fell off the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. So, then, here’s what the world of entertainment served up this week …
The One Where British People Try to Bring Michael Jackson Back from Beyond the Grave … on Live TV!
In an attempt to prove that their television producers are nothing but a group of monkeys who throw bananas at random post-it notes, the UK’s Sky 1 channel hosted a bizarre séance in which an English medium named Derek Acorah sat around a table with a few other individuals (including one that was actually dressed as Jackson to up the weird factor), and attempted to bring Michael Jackson back from the dead to ask him questions like … “Do you realize how much I love you, Michael?”
Um, do you realize how many people will make fun of you for going on live television dressed as Wacko Jacko to ask Jackson’s spirit whether or not he realizes that you love him? Seriously? And these people exist? (Well, the video proof exists – watch it here.)
Now They’re Making Television Shows Based on Twitter Feeds!
If you thought reading about some stranger’s day on Twitter was exciting before, wait till it actually becomes a TV show. That’s exactly what appears to be happening for the dude behind the Twitter feed "Sh*t My Dad Says," a recounting of his grumpy father’s strange, foul-mouthed musings (ie: "Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it"). Well, first, the Twitter feed – which the 28-year-old started when he was forced to move back into his parents’ house – was optioned for a book, and now CBS has placed the Will & Grace creators in charge of turning it into a television show ... about a kid who writes down funny things his dad says? Hey, CBS -- there's a psychotic homeless guy who spits out tons of random hilarity on the corner of my block. Maybe you should give him a TV show too!
Next up: HBO is looking to turn my Twitter feed – called "Things I Think About While in the Bathroom" – into a miniseries starring Kevin Spacey and the ugly floral wallpaper I've been meaning to take down. Watch out for it!
You Wanted to Know What That Monopoly Movie Was About, Right?
No, really, you don’t
want to know. Producer Frank Beddor recently revealed to the L.A. Times
the story (if you can call it that) he came up with that helped land Ridley Scott as a producer and possible director. It revolves around a man who passes out while playing an absurd amount of Monopoly and wakes up to find himself actually inside the world of the game – where people live in Monopoly City, use Monopoly money and – get this – fight the evil Parker Brothers! (Those dastardly Parker Brothers -- they're so dangerous and so interested in ... purchasing lots of land!)
Beddor said they planned to work in all the obvious Monopoly sight gags like a race car, a wheelbarrow and an old guy with a top hat and cane named Uncle Pennybags. If they use the thimble as a murder weapon, I’m sold!