Okay, so this giant skull was discovered in Peru and it has folks all up in arms because some doctor-types are actually saying it belongs to a creature not of this planet. Sure, your first thought might be that it's just a skull from a severely deformed human, but Spanish and Russian doctors will tell you you're wrong ... dude! Yup, the website RPP has interviewed several anonymous Spanish and Russian scientists, saying, "It has a non-human appearance because the head is triangular and big, almost the same size as the body. At first we believed it to be a child's body until Spanish and Russian doctors came and confirmed that, yes, it's an extraterrestrial being."
At first we called bogus on the whole thing, but then we scratched our heads and put our thinking caps on, eventually coming to the conclusion that it's very possible those anonymous scientists are onto something.
Scenario # 1: The Tim Burton Theory
When we examined images from the Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks!, we noticed the aliens featured in that film have similar triangular-shaped heads. You'll also notice the eyes on both the skull and the CG aliens appear to be large and creepy-looking, in that, "Holy sh*t, why did I just down four cups of coffee in an hour!?" sort of way. Is it possible Tim Burton accidentally created a real alien while making Mars Attacks!? Not likely, though we wouldn't rule out the idea that Burton himself is an alien, and that he based the aliens on his own race of species, who are fond of scaring little kids and adapting famous properties into mediocre big-studio movies.
Scenario # 2: George Lucas and His Crystal Skull Walk Into a Bar ...
In this version of events, George Lucas is abducted by aliens who force him to include them in the plot of the fourth Indiana Jones installment even though it's the worst idea ever and could lead to a bitter end for a series that was just fine with only three installments. They make the movie, it's horrible, and all of our worst fears come true. Meanwhile, for his heroic efforts, Lucas is rewarded with more money than God and a free pass when the aliens with giant skulls decide to destroy the human race.
Scenario 3: M. Night Shyamalan Really Does Have All the Answers
In a twist no one expected, M. Night Shyamalan is outed as the only human being with the answers to all of life's most pressing questions, like have aliens visited earth and why does everyone hate the New England Patriots so much? Scientists turn to his film Signs for a more accurate representation of what aliens actually look like, while at the same time accidentally discovering a cure for teen suicide by simply removing The Happening and Lady in the Water from circulation forever and ever and ever.
After combing through all the facts presented above, what do you think? Does that skull really belong to an alien species?