For whatever reason, collectible cards don’t seem to be a big deal these days – unless you’re talking Magic: The Gathering and things like that. I miss the old days of opening up a wax pack, flipping excitedly through the contents, then breaking a tooth on an ancient and flavorless piece of rock masquerading as bubble gum. I really miss movie cards – with all these superhero movies coming out each summer, this seems like the perfect era for their return. Since that doesn’t seem to be happening naturally, we decided to help the process along on our own.
Here are what we think you might find on the back of a card commemorating Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's Shredder and Guardians of the Galaxy's Ronan. Think of this like the tale of the tape before each heads into battle in their respective films.
Real Name: Oruku Saki
Affiliation: The Foot Clan
Actor Portraying the Character: William Fichtner
First Appearance: Eastman and Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #1 (May 1984)
Background: Shredder has had a lot of incarnations over the years, but his origin story has remained largely consistent across all the different TMNT films, comics and animated shows. Oruku Saki is a gifted martial artist with a genius-level IQ who joins the Foot Clan to avenge the death of his brother. The death came at the hands of Hamato Yoshi, who – depending on what version of TMNT you choose to follow – was either Master Splinter’s original owner, or became Master Splinter himself. Shredder rises through the Foot Clan ranks, and basically spends his downtime trying to get revenge. Various entries in the franchise have tweaked the story and made changes, but generally speaking, it sticks with the idea of Saki seeking vengeance against Splinter for the death of his brother.
Interesting Facts: In 1991’s The Making of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Behind the Shells, Kevin Eastman says he got the idea for Shredder’s imposing armor from seeing some “large trapezoidal cheese graters.” The character was originally referred to as “The Grater” or “Grate Man.” Fresh Prince of Bel-Air actor James Avery voiced the character for seven seasons of the 1987 animated series.
Ronan the Accuser
Real Name: Ronan
Affiliations: Kree Empire, Phalanx, Starforce, Annihilators, United Front
Actor Portraying the Character: Lee Pace
First Appearance: Fantastic Four #65 (August 1967)
Background: Ronan has a rich history since first being introduced by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby in 1967. The character was born in Hala, the Kree capital, and grew up to become a Kree accuser – the equivalent of our judges. He was so good at the job that he eventually became the supreme accuser of the Kree Empire, or Ronan the Accuser if you’re into the whole brevity thing. Over the course of the years, Ronan has been at the center of countless Kree plots, which have found him squaring off against Captain Mar-Vell and trying to take over the Kree Empire for himself.
Interesting Facts: Ronan has appeared in several Marvel animated series – including Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes. He also turned up in the Lego Marvel Superheroes game, where he was voiced by John DiMaggio. Ronan’s powers are numerous, and enhanced by an exoskeleton body-armor suit. He possesses superhuman strength and speed, and can use his armor to become invisible or freeze people into states of suspended animation. He also has access to the Universal Weapon, which can transmutate matter in a variety of different ways.
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