Sean Penn Looks Pretty Damn Ugly in Drag
Well, you can scratch “See Sean Penn
in drag” off your bucket list, because the actor was recently photographed in a wig and lipstick
on the set of his latest movie This Must Be the Place
. In the film (which apparently won’t hit theaters on Halloween, despite the fact that this image of the actor is the scariest thing we’ve seen all year) Penn plays a rock star who sets out to find the ex-Nazi war criminal who killed his father. The twist is that Sean Penn is the one who’s ultimately arrested for scaring a bunch of local kids with that lipstick-smeared cold stare. Ack, tell him-her to turn away, Mommy!
Michael Bay Caught in Pistol-Whipping Lawsuit Actually, it’s Bay’s bodyguard who’s being sued after he allegedly pistol-whipped a couple dudes outside a Hollywood nightclub two years ago. Though Bay wasn’t there at the time, the victims – who claim they tried to walk away after a brief confrontation only to have the bodyguard go all Megatron on their ass – say he was still under Bay’s control, and, therefore, Bay is responsible for damages. While we’re on the subject, how much do you think we deserve after Michael Bay pistol-whipped our brains for two hours with Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen? I’d settle for, say, $100 million? Just sayin’ …
Lindsay Lohan Leaves Rehab
That’s it everyone – you can go home now. Lindsay Lohan
has been released
from rehab after splitting her time between jail and comfy therapy sessions for a little over a month. Now
what are we going to talk about? The judge warned Lohan to stay clean or else she’d be shipped right back to jail, and you know the paparazzi will be doing all they can to make it look like Ms. Lohan is partying her pretty face off. The rules of her probation state that Lohan must remain at home until November 1st
, submit to random alcohol and drug tests and participate in all sorts of psychotherapy and behavior therapy sessions, not to mention attend a 12-step program. Bookies in Las Vegas are already lining up bets to see how long Lohan can go without breaking at least one of the many rules enforced upon her. I give it three days. You?
Next Twilight Movie Derailed Over Brazilian Hostage Crisis For once the Twi-hards aren’t to blame for what could turn out to be a nasty blow for the two-part finale of the Twilight franchise, Breaking Dawn. Summit Entertainment is said to be afraid to bring Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart to film key honeymoon-related romantic scenes in Rio de Janeiro after a drug gang took 35 people hostage in a Rio hotel. It seems to be an isolated incident, though, and no hotel guests were harmed (most of the hostages included staff), but still – people are worried. And as much as you’d like to think that Pattinson can fend off drug dealers with his violent vampiric ways, we must remember that it’s just a movie. Speaking of – where the hell do two teenagers from Forks, Washington get off spending their honeymoon in freakin’ Brazil!? If I got married at their age, I’d be honeymooning at the Motel 6 with room service consisting of last night’s Burger King leftovers.
Paul Hogan Forced to Stay in Australia After Attending Mom’s Funeral
All he wanted to do was attend his mother’s funeral. Unfortunately for actor Paul Hogan, he showed up at the right place at the wrong time. Little did he know, a monster was lurking. A monster … by the name of Tax Evasion! No, Australia isn’t forcing Hogan to remain there until he makes another Crocodile Dundee
movie so that people once again realize Australia still exists. Instead, they’re detaining him for millions of dollars of back taxes,
making it so he cannot leave the country and return to his family in Los Angeles. (What? You didn’t think 2001’s Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles
was all for nothing, did you?) Unfortunately, there isn’t a knife big enough for Hogan to get out of this mess. Well, actually there is – but that totally wouldn’t end well at all.