As part of a promotional campaign to raise money for the Alzheimer's Society, Samuel L. Jackson offered a unique (and hilarious) reward, agreeing to record himself reading the most upvoted 300-word monologue submitted to the website Reddit. The fundraiser, currently standing at $150,000, also included a chance to have lunch with the actor, but the rest of us get something of almost equal value: this foul-mouthed monologue, in which Jackson claims to be quitting acting in order to become a vigilante.
Watch as Jackson discusses how he intends to become a vigilante, and what he'll say and do to those who attempt to break the law in his presence. For those who feel the Marvel movies offer us a watered-down version of Samuel L. Jackson due to the nature of the PG-13 ratings, this monologue is most certainly for you. We'll just call this the closest you'll probably ever get to a badass R-rated Nick Fury prequel.
WARNING: This video is NSFW and full of foul language.