Real-Life 'Weekend at Bernie's' and 'The Cable Guy' Incidents Proves Humanity is Doomed

Real-Life 'Weekend at Bernie's' and 'The Cable Guy' Incidents Proves Humanity is Doomed

Sep 19, 2011

 

What does it say about the world that a real-life Weekend at Bernie's incident happens every few months, where some nut job decides it's a good idea to cart around a corpse? Nothing good, but here we are again – and this time the dead guy hijinks happened in Denver. Robert Jeffrey Young and Mark Rubinson are being charged with abusing a corpse, identity theft, and criminal impersonation. Both men dragged (figuratively, not literally) roommate and friend Jeffrey Jarrett's dead body around in a Lincoln Navigator and left him in the vehicle while they ate, drank, and enjoyed an evening at a local strip club on Jarrett's tab.
 
Young – whose mug shot (pictured) should tell you everything you need to know about what kind of guy he is – had apparently fallen on hard times, before his college buddy, Jarrett, invited him to stay in his home until he got back on his feet. As a strange way of saying thanks, Young didn't call 911 when he discovered Jarrett's lifeless body one evening. Instead he got hold of pal Rubinson and partied the night away until 4 AM when they finally flagged down a cop to report the dead body.
 
An investigation is being launched to find out whether or not Jarrett's life could have been saved if the men acted quicker to get help.
 
In other news that makes you feel hopeless for the future of humanity is a real-life Cable Guy incident in Florida. Shane Wheatley visited a young woman's home to repair her cable and decided it was time to masturbate instead. The woman saw what was happening and fled from her own home to get away from the guy. She reported him to the police, and he's been charged with "exposure of sexual organs." Suddenly Chip Douglas (Jim Carrey) seems like a really cool guy to hang out with.
 
 

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