Oscar Goodie Bags Give Losers Free Trip to Space

Oscar Goodie Bags Give Losers Free Trip to Space

Mar 01, 2011

Look, I can get past all this awards crap and have fun making predictions as to who will win what come Oscar time (because that's what you're supposed to do when you write about movies for a living), but there comes a point when smashing your head against a brick wall actually becomes a somewhat enticing idea.

It's bad enough that Hollywood spends way too much time congratulating each other when they should be spending more time coming it with original material, but what makes matters worse is when they shove it all back in our faces in the most ridiculous of ways. Take, for example, the reports that Anne Hathaway and Gwyneth Paltrow each received upwards of half a million dollars just for wearing certain jewelry on Oscar night. Think about that for a moment, and let it sink in. Now think about what you'd do with a half a million dollars while Gwyneth Paltrow will probably use the money to add a helicopter landing zone to the roof of her house ... just because she can. Because she wore a bracelet to an awards show.

And next time you feel bad that so-and-so lost the Oscar, why not take a look at what these so-called "losers" are getting for being ... um, a loser. This year's Oscar losers are receiving a free trip to space on Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic (valued at $200,000), as well as a four-night stay at some crazy luxurious resort in the Indian Ocean (valued at $16,000), plus black caviar cream, fitness training, electronic cigarettes and "shimmering" toilet paper (whatever the hell that is).

Maybe this is why less people tuned in to watch the Oscars this year? Maybe people are sick of watching millionaires congratulate each other for making a lot of money off the hard-working people in our country. The same people living paycheck-to-paycheck while trying real hard to put away $30 so they can take their kids to see Toy Story 3. But hey, at least the Oscars teach us that losing isn't always bad, because you might wind up with a consolation prize worth over $300,000. Oh Hollywood, what will you waste your riches on next?

Categories: WTF, Hollywood!?
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