My first idea was to track down some of the craziest action figures under the sun, but my research led me to a slightly more amusing idea: action figures from unlikely character actors. Harrison Ford has 1,244 different action figures, but Henry Silva?
Gathered below are some of the most unlikely character actors to ever get their own action figure, and (thanks to Figure Realm and Entertainment Earth for the pictures) I have plenty left over for a few extra volumes. (The next chapter will be devoted entirely to unlikely lady action figures.) For now, let's see if the first ten ring any bells with you.
George Carlin -- Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure -- Although he was inarguably one of the finest stand-up comedians ever born, Mr. Carlin didn't always have great luck in the movie business. He did pop up in flicks like Car Wash (1976), Americathon (1979), and Outrageous Fortune (1987) before contributing a few laughs to the 1989 surprise hit about two idiots who leap through time. Mr. Carlin's later film work may have led to a Kevin Smith-style action figure or two, but right here is the closest George Carlin got to being an action star.
Robert Forster -- Long before Quentin Tarantino made him a resurgent movie geek idol, Robert Forster was a pretty busy actor. He played lots of cops early in his career, but it was the long-anticipated live-action Disney adventure called The Black Hole that finally got the always cool character actor modeled in plastic. True, the figure is as dull as the movie, but still -- it's Robert Forster! (Right after The Black Hole, Mr. Forster starred in Alligator. As a cop.)
Charles Dance -- You don't see many actors of Charles Dance's stature inside the plastic molding of an action figure package, but this one's actually not that weird. Although highly prolific and admired (particularly in his native land of Great Britain), Mr. Dance did appear in The Golden Child and Alien 3 before donning a goofy eyeball and twirling his mustache through this infamous action comedy. Oh, you might also know Charles Dance from his outstanding work on Game of Thrones. He plays Tywin Lannister, and I don't think that guy will be getting an action figure any time soon.
Wayne Knight -- This one makes no sense at all. First of all, nobody needs a Dennis Nedry action figure. No kid is weeping for the snively computer tech who starts all the carnage in the first place. But what's really bizarre is ... well, look at it! Dennis Nedry was played by Wayne Knight. Yes, Newman (the mailman) from Seinfeld! He was a porky slob. This action figure looks like Mickey Rourke! Imagine how lame that must have felt for Wayne Knight when this toy came out.
Matt LeBlanc -- I had to take one out of the package here. This photo is meant to be Matt LeBlanc from Lost in Space. Yes, really. Put a mask on this action figure and he's the Pulp Fiction gimp! I know Lost in Space was a relative disappointment, but wow! Mr. LeBlanc probably has a dozen Joey dolls and a nice stack of cash, so it probably doesn't sting all that much anymore, but imagine that THIS is your big sci-fi movie action figure. I wouldn't dare give this to a child.
Martin Kove -- Here's a Martin Kove action figure! You probably know him best as the snarling and evil John Kreese from the old Karate Kid trilogy, but he's been in tons of (mostly horrid) action movies. Including Rambo: First Blood Part 2. Still, you cannot reenact the old "sweep the leg!" sequence on your rec room coffee table without this particular action figure. Please do note that the John Kreese action figure comes with a "breakaway chair." I bet Mr. Miyagi's action figure comes with a real chair.
Tracey Walter -- This is one of the kookiest ones I've come across. It looks like just a basic action figure, although I'm not sure why a nasty henchman is smiling so effusively on the packaging. It's not even that "Bob the Goon" is an obscure or nominal character. I just think it's fantastic that the longtime character actor Tracey Walter has his own action figure, even if it looks nothing like him. This is what Tracey Walter actually looks like. I have it on good authority that Tracey Walter packs a mean power kick.
Bob Hoskins -- This one sort of speaks for itself. Not every day you come across a Bob Hoskins action figure. And he's so little!
William H. Macy -- William H. Macy, one of the most refined and celebrated character actors of the last thirty years, star of Pleasantville, Fargo, Boogie Nights, and countless others ... has a Jurassic Park 3 action figure that comes complete with a stegosaurus and a bowl-shaped net of some sort. Imagine the awesome fun you could have with this and the Alessandro Nivola action figure. (Yes, sold separately.)
Gary Oldman -- I didn't want to go back to Lost in Space again, but this is pretty special. This is a GARY OLDMAN action figure. Gary Oldman! Again, the toy looks nothing like the man who has played villains in virtually every era and every genre known to humanity, but it's cool. And I don't care if he got Sirius Black or Commissioner Gordon action figures later in his career. Just look at that toy's facial hair.
Coming in Volume 2: Ten Female Action Figures You Might Not Believe! Also I have some from David Lynch's Dune and Warren Beatty's Dick Tracy that you won't believe. Got any crazy action figure tips? Throw me your suggestions on Twitter. P.S. Follow @moviesdotcom while you're at it!