Let's face it, folks: It's becoming increasingly harder to find any original horror movies anymore that are based on actual true stories. Sure, they'd like to make you think that every other horror movie is based on some sort of story that happened to someone at some point, but it never did. It's all made up for marketing purposes, but we're OK with that. We roll with with the punches if it means that girl from math class might grab our shoulder during one of the film's 47 jump-scares. So where do we go from here? Are there any actual true stories left to be adapted into the next great horror movie?
Why yes, glad you asked. Let us set the spooky stage for you. It was May 1984, and there was a woman who was being terrorized by a Satanic demon living inside... her toaster. Yes! Satan was totally inside her toaster and it was freaking her out. Luckily for the stay-at-home moms at the time, the Today show decided to do a segment on her nightmarish scenario, revealing just how far the forces of evil were willing to go to... burn her toast to the ground.
Hollywood, this is all yours. Just make sure you give us a "thank you" credit when the millions in ticket sales and merchandising pour in.
[hat tip to Aaron P.]