The Incredible Burt Wonderstone producers Chris Bender, J.S. Spink and Jake Weiner are moving in an entirely different direction with their latest project – teaming up with Ahmet Zappa to make a feature being billed as “The Avengers of monster movies.”
The idea, tentatively titled Monster X, was the brainchild of Zappa and will revolve around a dream team of classic movie monsters uniting to save humanity from an even greater menace. Haven’t we already seen this movie? Sounds a bit like Monster Squad to us…
The X in the title refers to the number of monsters teaming up – so Zappa’s script has 10 horror icons joining forces. Who are the ten? We’re not sure, since the script is being fleshed out before being offered to buyers.
We suspect the film will be focusing on classic monster archetypes, because grabbing the rights to an assortment of horror icons at different studios could be a nightmare. It’s fun to imagine what could be if the rights weren’t an issue, though – so here’s our wishlist of monsters beyond the obvious choices of Dracula, the Wolfman, Frankenstein’s Monster, the Mummy and the Creature from the Black Lagoon.
There’s absolutely zero chance this or probably any of my other choices turn up in this film, but if you want to start bringing in the modern era icons of horror, you’ve gotta have Jason. He’s your enforcer – strong, silent, deadly and unkillable. We want him on the front line if monsters are defending humanity.
The yin to Jason’s yang, Freddy isn’t the strongest monster out there, but what he lacks in strength, he makes up for with smarts. Freddy’s devious – just look at the elaborate nightmare scenarios he concocts for each of his victims. Freddy’s one of your generals in this war – the only potential snag here is he’s considerably less useful if the enemy never sleeps.
This guy is the Pope of Hell – and the best of both worlds when it comes to Jason and Freddy. With Pinhead, you get the strong supernatural powers of a demon straight from Hell, but you also get the cleverness of Freddy, without having to worry about what you’re fighting taking a snooze.
The Tall Man
Angus Scrimm’s imposing mortician from the Phantasm series might seem an odd choice, but he’s an extra-dimensional alien with a horde of wicked flying balls at his disposal and an entire army of Jawa-esque minions to use as cannon fodder. The Tall Man could certainly be useful in a situation like this…
Unless he’s the force all these other monsters are fighting, there’s no better choice than H.P. Lovecraft’s most popular elder god. Humans can’t even gaze upon Cthulhu without going insane. You want this guy on your team when the chips are down. It’s a no-brainer.
Those are our picks – share some of yours with us in the comment section below.