When a crazed letter from a University of Maryland student to her Delta Gamma sorority sisters leaked online late last week, it was immediately apparent that this would go down as one of the greatest viral events of 2013. The deranged, profanity-laced letter reads like it comes straight out of a Mean Girls sequel (a good Mean Girls sequel, that is) and until the author was identified as being a real sorority girl, we thought it had to be a fake.
Oh, but it's not. It's, like, SO not. In fact, this letter attacking a bunch of sorority girls for not meshing well with the hip fraternity they're partnered up with during Greek Week is completely real and completely incredible to read.
So incredibly scary to read that Funny or Die enlisted the scariest actor on the planet to stage a dramatic reading of said letter: Michael Shannon. Before he plays Superman's arch nemesis on the big screen, watch as Shannon -- doing his best pissed-off sorority girl impression -- recites the letter word for word in all of its ridiculously bizarre glory. Enjoy it before Hollywood figures out a way to stretch this one letter into an entire 90-minute movie about the worst sorority girl who ever lived.
Actually, we'd probably watch that movie.
Warning: the video and letter are NSFW.