Merry Christmas ... in Early November!

Merry Christmas ... in Early November!

Nov 05, 2009

As soon as the clock struck midnight on November 1, this country immediately began preparing for the Holiday Season -- which means that from right about now until December 25 we’re going to have all things Christmas-ish shoved down our throats and up our, um, chimneys whether we like it or not. But while Christmas doesn’t actually take place in most households until December 25, Hollywood looks to have already started their holiday celebration. Want proof? Here it is …

2 Signs Hollywood’s Christmas Spirit Is a Bit Premature

1. A Christmas Carol debuts in theaters on … November 6? Though Hollywood tends to release films tied to holidays right around the actual holidays (like Halloween or Valentine’s Day), for some reason that’s not the case with Christmas. This year is no exception as Disney decided to shovel out their 3-D mo-capped comedy A Christmas Carol a whopping 49 days before Christmas. Because nothing puts us in the spirit more than having to celebrate a holiday for two months straight.
The facts: This isn’t the first time a Christmas movie arrived in early November, as Elf debuted in theaters on November 7, 2003 and – get this – Surviving Christmas hit theaters on October 22, 2004 … nine days before Halloween! Sheesh!

2. Brad Pitt literally turning into Santa Have you noticed that Brad Pitt has been not-so-quietly growing one of the ugliest beards in the history of ugly beards? Either the guy’s happy looking like a disheveled homeless schizophrenic, or the prophecy was true and he is literally transforming into Santa Claus.

Bonus question: You’re telling me you wouldn’t totally run to go see Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie star in Mr. & Mrs. Claus?

2 Signs Hollywood Is Already Giving Back

1. Michael Jackson’s This Is It gets extended run It wouldn’t be Christmas if not for giving to those less fortunate … like how Sony has decided to extend Michael Jackson’s concert doc This Is It three more weeks for us working folk. Not only does this make the studio a whole bunch more money keep the kids happy, but it’s also the gift that keeps on giving … money to the concert promoters who want to suck every last cent from this thing until it's bone-dry.
2. James Franco joins “General Hospital” to remind horrible soap actors that they’re still horrible soap actors … and he’s not Inexplicably, the Spider-man 3 star will grace the cast of “General Hospital” with his scintillating presence beginning November 20 as what we have to assume is some performance art project that only elderly women and sex-deprived stay-at-home moms will get to enjoy because, really, who else actually watches “General Hospital”? It almost reminds me of the time when Marlon Brando worked at Burger King for six months. Oh wait, that never happened ... nevermind.

And the Toys Everyone Will NOT Want to Buy This Holiday Season Are … The Twilight Barbie Dolls! Seriously, because the edible Robert Pattinson underwear and strange stalker-ish adult-size wall shadow sticker weren’t creepy enough, now we have Bella and Edward Barbie dolls for to … create your own Twilight movie right at home! Hey Mom and Dad, I'll just be in my room playing Pretend Unhealthy Vampire Obsession - can you come get me when dinner's ready? I'll have only two pints of fake blood tonight since I'm trying to watch my figure.

Categories: WTF, Hollywood!?
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