Wait, Mel Gibson Said What?
Just when you thought the situation couldn’t get any more out of control than it already was, new tapes
have surfaced featuring Mel Gibson in his most demanding role yet: as a racist, sexist, perverted loudmouth whose yelling reminds me of a cross between a small child and that angry drunk guy hanging around the CVS parking lot last Friday night. In Gibson’s latest tirade – which, we should note, will soon become more of a police matter than just something to amuse you at work – he insists (among other things) that Oksana bl*w him before they get in the Jacuzzi. Ugh ... we feel bad for the Jacuzzi.
Watch Joaquin Phoenix Get Dirty and Belligerent This September If you’re bored of the foul-mouthed Mel Gibson tapes, you can always settle for a live-action Joaquin Phoenix starring in one of the strangest films you’ll see all year. Due in theaters on September 10th, I’m Still Here will chronicle the year that Joaquin Phoenix decided to retire from acting to become a horrible rapper with a long beard who drinks, does drugs and slurs his speech constantly. Casey Affleck directed the “documentary,” which apparently features “more male frontal nudity than most gay porn” and a scene in which someone actually defecates on Phoenix. Okay, really … WTF?
A Justin Bieber Biopic? Cringe!
In case you weren’t sick of all the Justin Bieber-obsessed nonsense by now, sources now claim
that Bieber is working on a biopic of his life that will act as the singer’s big-screen debut. And if that doesn’t make you throw up a little in your mouth, insiders are saying the film will be similar to Eminem’s 8 Mile
… minus, ya know, the whole all-black neighborhood/gang warfare/ghetto welfare livin’ angle and all.
Sylvester Stallone Regrets Bad Movie Decisions
Looking back over his entire career, Sylvester Stallone decided to man up recently and admit
that maybe 1992’s Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
wasn’t the greatest career move. He says, "The audience expects certain kinds of films out of certain actors. I made the mistake of going too far off the beaten track. John Wayne knew what his audience wanted; he never would have made Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
.” That’s great and all Sly, but where’s your apologies for Nighthawks, Victory, Over the Top, Judge Dredd, Rocky 5, Demolition Man, Get Carter, Avenging Angelo
and Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over
? We’re waiting …
Lindsay Lohan Dresses as Nun, Licks Gun
Coincidentally, while Lindsay Lohan awaits her impending date with the inside of a prison (she’s due to report for her 90-day sentence on July 20th
), a new poster
for the film Machete
has arrived online that features the has-been actress licking a gun while dressed as a nun. It’s cute and all, except in a few days from now the only thing Lohan will be licking is … let’s not go there.