Lohan Fails a Drug Test, Phoenix Fails to Fake Us Out and Brand Fails to Kill the Paparazzi Once and for All

Lohan Fails a Drug Test, Phoenix Fails to Fake Us Out and Brand Fails to Kill the Paparazzi Once and for All

Sep 22, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Fails Drug Test, Surprises No One Another week has gone by, and yes, Lindsay Lohan has failed another drug test. Not long after being released from rehab for being totally clean, sober and awesome, La Lohan was back in the spotlight yet again after admitting to failing a random drug test. She’s due back in court this week, where a judge could sentence her to 30 more days in jail for violating her parole. I’d say something about our tax dollars being wasted, but we all know you secretly love to watch this girl self-destruct, so why even go there?

Joaquin Phoenix Doc Officially a Hoax After convincing practically no one that Joaquin Phoenix’s “documentary” was actually real – and that the Hollywood star really did take a couple years off from acting to grow a beard, do drugs and become a rap star – Casey Affleck(who directed the film) admitted the entire thing was a hoax. And the film bombed at the box office. Oh, and critics hated it. Somewhat ironically, Joaquin Phoenix now has to try just as hard to get his career back on track as he did trying to fake us all out. Since we now know how well that went, you can see why there’s room for concern. But the beard looked good … kind of.

Mel Gibson, Oscar Bound? Only in Hollywood can one actor go from complete laughingstock in need of anger management and major career repair to potential Oscar contender … in the same year! After watching Mel Gibson’s turn as a guy who walks around with a beaver puppet on his hand that he treats like a real-life living creature in Jodie Foster’s The Beaver, sources tell Deadline that Gibson – who’s gone to hell and back multiple times this year following a very nasty (and very public) separation from his wife –is “extraordinary” in the film. Heh, if Mel was so extraordinary with “the beaver,” he wouldn’t be in this mess to begin with. Too dirty?

Imagine Goodfellas with Tom Cruise and Madonna Yeah, more like Yikesfellas! While speaking to GQ Magazine in honor of Goodfellas’ 20th anniversary, producer Irwin Winkler let loose that Tom Cruise and Madonna were originally the first choices to take on the lead roles in Martin Scorsese’s beloved gangster film. The Cruise role eventually went to Ray Liotta, while Madonna’s part was snatched up by Lorraine Bracco … and boy are we thankful that happened. Tom Cruise may play a convincing crazy person in real life, but a gangster? Um, no.

Russell Brand Arrested for Attacking Paparazzi There are certain celebrities people desperately want to see naked for whatever reason. Katy Perry is one of those celebrities. Unfortunately for Russell Brand (or fortunately, if you know what I mean … wink, nudge), he's engaged to Katy Perry, and so everywhere they travel together the paparazzi fight to snap the best Katy Perry cleavage shot. Naturally, this may become somewhat annoying after, oh, the 5,000th time it happens, and so, yes, Brand blew his lid the other day at the Los Angeles International Airport by attacking an entire group of bloodthirsty paparazzi and being subsequently arrested. We say, good for him! Defend your woman! Ahem … now where’s that half-naked Katy Perry Video Music Awards image again?

Categories: WTF, Hollywood!?
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