"The Weekend Rent offers quick-hit suggestions of what to watch at home to get psyched for new releases in theaters, on Friday. Click the movie titles to find out how you can watch each one right now.
Nowadays, most people are used to seeing Lindsay Lohan being escorted to or from a courthouse on TV instead of appearing in, you know, a movie. The flame-tressed trouble magnet still occasionally phones in a performance on-screen, like in this weekend's Scary Movie 5. The latest in the horror movie-spoof series finds LiLo about to make a sex tape with Charlie Sheen in his bedroom that is tricked out in Paranormal Activity-type surveillance equipment.
Lohan had a promising career before her struggles with addiction and the law made her America's favorite hot mess. However, early reviewers of Scary Movie 5 want more of LiLo in the comedy, so maybe it's time to revisit Lohan's best and worst moments on video to see if that is a solid suggestion.
Freaky Friday: Oh, how fresh faced Lohan looked in this 2003 remake of the Disney film about a mother and daughter who wake up one morning in the other's body due to a magical spell. Jamie Lee Curtis plays Lohan's mother in this version, and Curtis is a blast to watch as she gets in touch with her inner teen. Lohan must play it straight for most of the film since Curtis' character is an uptight therapist-author, but the two develop a deeper understanding of each other and the movie was a big hit at the box office and with critics.
Mean Girls: Tina Fey wrote and appears in this hilarious comedy about high school cliques. Lohan plays a 15-year-old girl who has been home-schooled in Africa for most of her life before she is thrown into a suburban Illinois high school. There she learns about the pecking order from the rich and popular girls in school called "The Plastics" who, like the title hints, are not so nice. Welcome to the jungle, Lindsay.
Machete: Lohan doesn't have a huge role in Robert Rodriguez' action-exploitation spin-off of his Grindhouse trailer starring Danny Trejo as pissed-off former Mexican Federale Machete Cortez. Still, she makes an impression as a socialite who knows her way around a gun while dressed like a nun. Don't get too excited about that fleshy ménage à trois Lohan's character has with Trejo in the film... those breasts are a body double's, not Lohan's. To see the latter, pick up her Playboy issue.
I Know Who Killed Me: This excruciatingly awful psychological thriller is rockin' a 9% Rotten rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Lohan plays Aubrey Fleming, a young woman who is kidnapped and horribly disfigured by a serial killer, but the woman who returns home claims that she is someone named Dakota and that Aubrey is still alive and in mortal danger. Three years after the high of Mean Girls, Lohan was slumming it in this sleazy flick by doing a red-lit pole dance and enduring a torture-porn sequence.
Liz & Dick: This Lifetime movie was marketed as a "no-holds-barred account" of the tumultuous and passionate relationship between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, but it's really just a tedious snore. People looking for some kind of instant camp classic like Showgirls will be sorely disappointed and maybe even a little embarrassed for Lohan as she desperately tries to vamp it up as the Hollywood icon, but ends up looking the fool as her bizarre accent meanders… just like the story. Liz & Dick isn't available on DVD until May, but you masochistic types who need to stop and look at train wrecks can rent it right now on various VOD services.
Labor Pains: This 2009 romantic comedy was supposed to be a comeback flick for Lohan, but it ended up bypassing theaters in this country for a premiere on ABC Family. Lohan plays a secretary who fakes a pregnancy in order to avoid being fired by her cranky boss. What Lohan really needs is to birth a healthy eight pounds of dignity and clean up her act if she ever hopes to recapture the magic of Mean Girls and Freaky Friday again.
All of the movies listed above are available on DVD and/or Blu-ray as well as VOD services.