We'd all like actors and actresses to be held accountable when they turn in a crummy performance, but Jessica Alba
-- who, let's face it, ain't no Meryl Streep -- wants you to know that all of her awful performances were due to shoddy directors, most notably first-timers.
In a new interview with Elle Magazine, Alba admits to starring in a host of craptacular movies from Good Luck Chuck to The Love Guru, blaming the fact that both films make us want to gauge our eyes out with a plastic spoon on first-time directors Mark Helfrich (Good Luck Chuck) and Marco Schnabel (The Love Guru). Oh, but her blame game doesn't stop there.
Alba then moves on to Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer director Tim Story, whom she said made her want to "stop acting" after he told her that her on-screen crying looked "too real," and that he wanted her to look prettier. "Cry prettier," was his command.
Alba added, "And then it all got me thinking: Am I not good enough? Are my instincts and my emotions not good enough? Do people hate them so much that they don’t want me to be a person? Am I not allowed to be a person in my work? And so I just said, ‘F-ck it. I don’t care about this business anymore.’”
This, after slamming screenwriters in the same article: "“Good actors never use the script unless it’s amazing writing. All the good actors I’ve worked with, they all say whatever they want to say.”
Is it just me, or is Alba looking to snag an Oscar for Best Whiner of the Year? Cry me a river, Ms. I'm Such a Good Actress, I Get Offered Films Like The Love Guru and Good Luck Chuck. The sad (but true) thing about Jessica Alba is that Hollywood has never viewed her as anything more than a pretty face. And when other, younger, prettier faces cropped up, they began dumping Alba in no-nothing roles because they knew she was still somewhat of a name (even if that name is associated with crummy performances).
Does she deserve to get an idiotic command like "Cry prettier"? No. But we're also not buying her sad-story shtick. Someone needs to tell her "the movies you star in aren't that good because you aren't that good," and when Jessica Alba actually owns up to that and quits the business to sell autographed posters of her ass in Fantastic Four spandex, then maybe audiences will want to actually spend more money on Jessica Alba.
Photo courtesy of Elle