Jackassery: 10 Stunts to Make You Sick

Jackassery: 10 Stunts to Make You Sick

Oct 11, 2010

It's been eight years since the first Jackass movie was released in all its mind-numbing, gut-wrenching, projectile vomit-inducing glory. Now, as the boys bring you in closer than you never wanted with Jackass 3D this weekend, we take a look back at some of the classic cringe-worthy moments from the past two movies. Warning: some of these may turn your stomach...if not, seek help immediately. And as always, don’t try this at home. Unless of course you’re even more twisted than even we suspected.

Stunt: Alligator Nipple Bite – Jackass 1
The Setup: A man holds a small alligator up to Johnny Knoxville’s chest. The animal bites Knoxville’s nipple.
The Result: As if you couldn’t tell by the pic, the stunt results in Knoxville screaming in pain for about a minute and a half. Watch Clip

Stunt: Yak Charge – Jackass 2
The Setup: Wearing a bright red shirt, Knoxville jumps into a pen blindfolded. He lights a cigarette, then braces for the impact.
The Result: The yak hits Knoxville square in the gut, flipping him end over end over end. He limps away winded and in severe pain. Watch Clip

Stunt: Bungee Wedgie – Jackass 1
The Setup: Chris Raab suffers the ultimate wedgie by jumping in bungee equipped underwear from a tree branch. Truer words have never been spoken when the Jackass introduces himself, “I’m Raab and I’m a compete f***ing idiot.” Unless they were spoken by Knoxville, who quips, “Rectal bleeding… Another first on Jackass!”
The Result: On the first attempt, he falls face-first into the ground after his underwear rips. On take two, he’s left hanging much to the delight of the on-looking Jackasses. Watch Clip

Stunt: Cart Launcher – Jackass 2
The Setup: The boys take turns riding a shopping cart that gets launched across a loading dock at up to 70 mph. Bam Magera quickly closes the loading dock’s door seconds before Ryan Dunn is launched—BAM is right.
The Result: A bone-crunching collision with the metal door and a ton of ouch for Dunn. After the collision, he winces, “Ow, my hip! I think I just gave birth!”

Stunt: Fart Mask – Jackass 2
The Setup: The boys borrow a classic "punishment" from the Japanese version of Silent Library and take it a step further. Steve-O puts on a sealed helmet with a tube that connects to a funnel which Preston Lacy lays gas (and other things) in.
The Result: Steve-O gags. Steve-O vomits inside helmet. Steve-O rips off helmet. Steve-O vomits some more. Watch Clip

Stunt: Alligator Tightrope – Jackass 1
The Setup: The goal is for Steve-O to walk a tightrope across an alligator pit, while the hungry reptiles try to grab an easy meal from above. Oh, and his jockstrap is stuffed with raw chicken. Of course.
The Result: Steve-O never makes it more than a few steps before falling in, and after losing half the chicken trying to pull himself along the rope, stands in the pond with chunks of chicken in his jockstrap. One alligator snaps the bait as his fellow Jackasses hold their collective breath, and Steve-O high-tails it out of the pond, clutching his butt to make sure it’s still intact. Watch Clip

Stunt: Leech Eye – Jackass 2
The Setup: Steve-O goes against an doctor’s recommendations (there’s a shocker) and attaches a bloodsucking leech to the cornea of his eye.
The Result: General squeamishness and discomfort, but Steve-O survives and is rather enthusiastic afterwards saying, “I just had a leech chomp on my eyeball! Yes!” The doctor then advises Dave England not to put a leech onto his testicle. You can pretty much figure out what happens next.

Stunt: Papercuts – Jackass 1
The Setup: Steve-O gets a papercut inflicted on the edges of his mouth via a manila envelope. Also, papercuts are inflicted on the webbing between fingers and in between toes.
The Result: Definitely not for those with delicate stomachs. Like the cameraman, who ends up vomiting.

Stunt: Anal Toy Car – Jackass 2
The Setup: Ryan Dunn sticks a toy car up his butt with the help of a condom and lubricant.
The Result: The boys head to the hospital to have an X-ray taken. On the way there, Steve-O asks the medic, “Is there any reason why someone would stick something like that in their butt?” to which the medic responds, “No.” Later, an almost speechless doctor removes the car, saying only, “That’s not a part of you.” Watch Clip

Stunt: Wasabi Shooter – Jackass 1
The Setup: Pretty straight forward. While at an sushi restaurant in Japan, Steve-O snorts wasabi from a plate.
The Result: After watering down a huge chunk of wasabi and proclaiming that chopsticks are “stupid,” Steve-O snorts it up his left nostril. He gags. And then he snorts it up his right nostril and promptly vomits onto the plate. And as if that wasn’t enough, he takes a third snort and proceeds to vomit again onto the plate. Watch Clip

Stunt: Horse “Milk” – Jackass 2
The Setup: Knoxville, Chris Pontius and Steve-O obtain a sperm sample from a studded horse. Then, Pontius takes a sip.
The Result: As if the facial expressions don't give you an idea of how disgusting this stunt is, maybe Knoxville and Steve-O jumping around shouting in horrified disbelief will. It is easily one of the most eww-inducing, gross-out moments in movie history. Congratulations, Jackasses.

If these stunts didn’t gross you out, you’re either as nutty as Knoxville and Co., or you have your own idea of what’s sick about these movies—which you better lay out for us below.

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