The Star Wars fan is one of the most complicated fans that exist among us. They love their franchise, but they hate the man who created it. They adore some of the movies, but spit vitriol at the others. They desperately want kids to grow up with the Star Wars movies as they once did long ago, but they don't want to see any trailers or toys that are marketed to the young ones because they're adults now and that stuff just ain't cool. Well here's something you can do in between photoshopping The Little Mermaid into a Slave Leia costume while waiting for your Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite ice cubes to freeze: Get over yourself.
If you spent any time paying attention to the Star Wars universe ever since the prequels first hit theaters, you would've realized already that LucasFilm isn't very interested in you anymore. They roped you in as a little kid with the movies and action figures, and then you grew up -- realized Luke Skywalker whined more than that annoying kid in math class who thinks everyone is cheating off him (which they are) -- and, like the rest of us, turned into a jaded adult who simply must have a cup of coffee in the morning in order to survive and function. That's you now. Welcome to your life.
And just because you're not 10-years-old anymore doesn't mean you get to sh*t on every Star Wars-related trailer, commercial or toy that's purely aimed at kids. This is what it is. That trailer you see below for Episode I in 3D -- the one everyone is calling "the worst Star Wars trailer ever OMG!!" -- represents exactly what this franchise is all about now and was all about back then: the kids. George Lucas built his Star Wars empire in a way that made it addictive for young kids, and in the years since the prequels hit theaters he's really gone overboard expanding the universe so that it would attract even the youngest ones. Kids now as young as 2-years-old are being brought into Star Wars via the Lego games and cartoons before segueing to the animated Clone Wars, and then the live-action movies.
Truthfully it's rather brilliant to see the path Lucas and his team have set up, not just from a business standpoint, but also from the perspective of a fan who got so much fulfillment out of this franchise in my youth that I can't wait to pass that same excitement onto my kids. Thankfully Lucas is making that possible; he's made this franchise a lot more accessible to young kids than Star Trek, or several of the other geek-friendly sci-fi properties of the late-70s and '80s. And while that might make you roll your eyes and spit out something like, "Well good for George Lucas and his mansions full of money," it also makes you a hypocrite because you obsessed over Star Wars and its merchandise just as much as the kid sitting next to you at the train station with the Lego Anakin Skywalker.
I know it's hard to grow up and realize that people who aren't you continue to make millions of dollars off a franchise you were so personally invested in as a kid, while all you get out of it is the memory of your parents turning off Empire Strikes Back "because if you watch it one more time you're gonna turn into a Yoda." It's difficult when the magic evaporates and you're left Twitter-bragging about watching the original cuts on Laserdisc because it's really the only pure Star Wars memory you have left. I get that. I feel you.
But it's okay because Star Wars isn't going anywhere. Those memories you have of enjoying this franchise immensely as a kid? Still there. That still happened. And just because you've grown up now, that doesn't give you the right to crap on the experiences that kid next to you in the train station is having right now. Sure his (or her) relationship with Star Wars may differ from yours, but that doesn't make it any less meaningful.
So yeah, grow up.