The impending release of The Heat is a reminder of two sad facts. One: there still aren't nearly enough comedies starring women these days. Two: there is a serious dearth of female buddy-cop movies. This is a problem.
While the pairing of Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy as mismatched law enforcement officials is a nice start, it's about time we broke some glass ceilings and established some gender equality in this typically very male genre. There have been hundreds (thousands?) of buddy-cop movies starring men over the decades. At this rate, anything to keep the genre from getting stale is good thing, right?
Although we here at Movies.com don't have the power to get movies made, we do have the power to stamp our feet and demand that certain actresses be cast alongside each other in a bunch of hypothetical buddy-cop movies. Hollywood, each of these pairings is on the house.
The Actresses: Meryl Streep and Chloe Moretz
Where You've Seen Them: You've seen the young and talented Chloe Moretz in action films like Kick-Ass (where she played the deadly Hit-Girl), horror movies like Let Me In (where she played a tormented vampire) and indie darlings like 500 Days of Summer (where she played one of those only-in-cinema wise children). You've seen Meryl Streep because she's Meryl Streep and she's the greatest living actress. Duh.
Why They Should Be Paired Up: Mrs. Streep has spent much of the past few years exploring her whimsical and comedic side. Moretz proved she could match comedic wits with some of the most talented comedians in the world during a recurring stint on 30 Rock. Maybe it's time that this living legend and this extraordinarily talented rising star got to headline a comedy together?
The Sample Pitch: Streep is the volunteer sheriff of a small, quaint lakeside town. Moretz is the daughter of a rich couple who have a vacation home in the area. After Moretz is caught in the act of some kind of petty crime, Streep is forced by the local court to take her under her wing for a week of community service. Naturally, this is the week where someone in the town is murdered and Streep is forced to deputize her rebellious ward. $145 million domestic, minimum.
The Actresses: Amy Adams and Jenna Fischer
Where You've Seen Them: You've seen the very talented Amy Adams at the Academy Awards, where she's been nominated for film like Junebug and The Master. You've also seen her play in the blockbuster arena, appearing in massive summer movies like Man of Steel. Meanwhile, you're probably most familiar with Jenna Fischer from her many years as Pam on NBC's The Office, but she's also appeared in plenty of big-screen comedies, including Walk Hard and Blades of Glory.
Why They Should Be Paired Up: Because they look eerily similar. Really. Just look at them. We're sure that the two of them would have wonderful chemistry on-screen and would be wonderful to watch, but we'll just be perfectly honest: two actresses this likeable can't look this similar and not play sisters.
The Sample Pitch: This one is simple enough. Two sisters, one of them an uptight FBI agent, the other a rough-and-tumble inner-city cop, are forced to team up when they discover that they've been working different sides of the same case. Naturally, all kinds of family issues bubble to the surface and their childhood hatred for one another threatens to derail the entire case. If Paul Feig doesn't mind making another female-led, buddy-cop movie, put him in the director's chair.
The Actresses: Gina Carano and Aisha Tyler
Where You've Seen Them: Although she's relatively new to the world of film, you may have seen Gina Carano kicking butt in the MMA scene. If not there, you surely caught her as the lead ass kicker in Steven Soderbergh's Haywire or as the Rock's agent sidekick in Fast & Furious 6. As for Aisha Tyler, she's been a well-liked comedian and actress for years, appearing on shows like The Ghost Whisperer and Friends. However, it's her downright incredible vocal performance as Lana Kane on Archer that has earned her a new batch of fans.
Why They Should Be Paired Up: Both women feel like they're on the verge of breaking out in a major way, so why shouldn't they do it together? After all, they both complement each other's weaknesses in virtually every way. Carano may not have a ton of range, but she can take down all of the henchmen. Tyler may not be able to believably take down the bad guys, but she can handle all of the surely hilarious dialogue that Carano couldn't handle.
The Sample Pitch: Wisecracking cop teams up with no-nonsense, by-the-book cop. Shenanigans ensue. Hey, it's worked a thousand times before, right?
The Actresses: Helen Mirren and Emily Blunt
Where You've Seen Them: You've seen Helen Mirren because she's second only to Meryl Streep in the living-legend department. With a career that's taken her from the London stage to the Oscars to modern action films, she's one of the most talented thespians of all time. Similarly, Emily Blunt has spent her career diving between genres, refusing to get pigeonholed in any way. For every ornate costume drama like The Young Victoria, she's appeared in something wild and fresh like Looper.
Why They Should Be Paired Up: Because two classy British actresses this good deserve to share the screen together at least once, quite frankly.
The Sample Pitch: Helen Mirren plays an elite cop in a future dystopia, hot the on the trail of a criminal with an illegal time-traveling device. One accidental time jump later, she finds herself in the modern day, staring at her younger, rookie self (played by Emily Blunt, of course). Can this team of one person save the day and prevent all kinds of time travel malfeasance? More importantly, what kind of fascinating, amazingly accented conversations can these two have about their peculiar sci-fi predicament?
The Actresses: Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence
Where You've Seen Them: You've surely seen the delightful Emma Stone in well-liked movies like Easy A, Zombieland, The Amazing Spider-Man and The Help. Chances are strong that you've also seen the equally delightful Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook, The Hunger Games, Winter's Bone and X-Men: First Class. If you've somehow managed to miss them both on the big screen, you've definitely seen them online, where they are pretty much the Internet's favorite women and the source of countless GIFs and memes.
Why They Should Be Paired Up: The dull reason is that these two talented women would probably make a terrific on-screen team. The real reason is that the two of them appearing in the same movie would probably break the Internet in half with the sheer amount of enthusiasm this film would generate. Reddit would erupt into ashes. Tumblr would split apart and fall into the ocean. The online world simply wouldn't know what to do with itself.
The Sample Pitch: Two former school rivals find themselves attending the same police academy, where their old grudges resurface. With their future careers in law enforcement on the line, these two young women begin to transform their training into high school 2.0, dragging all of their classmates down with them. Every single shot will be composed with GIFs in mind.