The cast and crew of Paul W.S. Anderson's The Three Musketeers takes home a paycheck in this confusing, yet clear cut attempt to cash in on a companion franchise to Sherlock Holmes. The new trailer for this dandy showed up on YouTube, and it's exactly what you think it is. D'Artagan (Logan Lerman) unites with the three feathery – but apparently down on their luck Musketeers – to battle a villainous duo, keep them from overthrowing French royalty and causing total war.
See blimps, something that looks like Hellraiser's The Lament Configuration, Milla Jovovich slow-mo ass kicking à la the Resident Evil franchise, and Orlando Bloom (and his hair) possessed by the spirit of Johnny Depp in the new trailer below. The only reason this might be worth it is to see Christoph Waltz try to keep a straight face and, of course, mustache twirl. Thanks Hollywood for bringing us another ridiculous Musketeers adaptation.