When there’s no more room in hell, the dead will walk the Earth – but at least the U.S. government has devised a plan for putting them back in their graves.
A recent report reveals the Department of Defense has crafted a document titled "CONOP 8888," which is actually a strategy for dealing with a potential zombie apocalypse. Before you start panicking that this means the government knows something we don’t (like maybe MERS turns people into flesh-eating monsters who can only be killed with a well-placed bullet to the skull!), realize this is simply a “how-to guide" for military planners facing a potential catastrophe.
CONOP 8888 is part of a training regimen that asks commanders to come up with plans to protect humans from an ever-growing zombie horde. The document even goes as far as pointing out that it’s not a joke, even if it is based on a seemingly impossible scenario.
We have no idea how the military would combat the zombie menace, but we’ve seen enough George Romero films to know that it probably won’t end well for us. The military is always ineffective against the zombie hordes, but at least they realize the biggest issue they have to contend with is the high transmission rate of the infection. Of course, realizing there’s a challenge and overcoming it are two different things.
So, why a zombie training scenario when there are so many real potential threats out there? Politics.
“Planners... realized that training examples for plans must accommodate the political fallout that occurs if the general public mistakenly believes that a fictional training scenario is actually a real plan. We elected to use a completely impossible scenario that could never be mistaken for a real plan.”
Completely impossible... the conspiracy theorists will have a field day with that one. Meanwhile, the rest of us can watch videos like this in order to prepare for any kind of zombie onslaught. Why look to the government when we have YouTube!
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