David Lynch's Bizarre Cooking Video Proves He Needs His Own Food Network Show

David Lynch's Bizarre Cooking Video Proves He Needs His Own Food Network Show

Oct 30, 2013


If David Lynch’s surreal, dreamlike films are the stuff you eat for breakfast, then you’ll want to watch this excellent video of the Blue Velvet director cooking quinoa. If that’s not enough of a draw, please note that he also tells a story about a Yugoslavian girl shooting Coca-Cola out of her nose, and he washes the dishes.

Website Open Culture resurrected the video, which Lynch created as an extra for his 2006 Inland Empire DVD release. Note: the YouTube uploader accidentally cut off several minutes, but you still get the idea. We’ll also include Lynch’s full quinoa recipe. The ominous musical accompaniment and shadowy “cinematography” of the short is equal parts hysterical and perfection. Enter Lynch’s dark world of grains and broccoli, below.



Yield: 1 bowl
Cooking Time: 17 minutes
Ingredients:?1/2 cup quinoa
1 1/2 cups organic broccoli (chilled, from bag)
1 cube vegetable bullion
Braggs Liquid Aminos
Extra virgin olive oil
Sea salt
* Fill medium saucepan with about an inch of fresh water.
* Set pan on stove, light a nice hot flame add several dashes of sea salt.
* Look at the quinoa. It’s like sand, this quinoa. It’s real real tight little grains, but it’s going to puff up.
* Unwrap bullion cube, bust it up with a small knife, and let it wait there. It’ll be happy waiting right there.
* When water comes to a boil, add quinoa and cover pan with lid. Reduce heat and simmer for eight minutes.
* Meanwhile, retrieve broccoli from refrigerator and set aside, then fill a fine crystal wine glass—one given to you by Agnes and Maya from Lódz, Poland—with red wine, cause this is what you do when you’re making quinoa. Go outside, sit, take a smoke and think about all the little quinoas bubbling away in the pan.
* Add broccoli, cover and let cook for an additional seven minutes.
* Meanwhile, go back outside and tell the story about the train with the coal-burning engine that stopped in a barren, dust-filled landscape on a moonless Yugoslavian night in 1965. The story about the frog moths and the small copper coin that became one room-temperature bottle of violet sugar water, six ice-cold Coca-Colas, and handfuls and handfuls of silver coins.
* Turn off heat, add bullion to quinoa and stir with the tip of the small knife you used to bust up the bullion.
* Scoop quinoa into bowl using a spoon. Drizzle with liquid amino acids and olive oil. Serve and enjoy.



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Tags: David Lynch
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