Charlie Sheen Is Hospitalized After Trying to Eat a Hooker...or Something

Charlie Sheen Is Hospitalized After Trying to Eat a Hooker...or Something

Jan 31, 2011

Oh Charlie Sheen, someone needs to get this man a reality show. Screw Two and a Half Men, we want to see Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Hookers!

To bring you up to date on where things are at right now: Charlie Sheen had another drug-related meltdown. This time it was 36 hours of hardcore partying with porn stars and "at least $20,000 worth of cocaine," according to porn star Kacey Jordan, who moronically recounted the entire night on camera for TMZ while wasted (or at least she appears to be wasted). Jordan claims Sheen was drinking heavily, pounding liquor like a maniac, and following it up with massive amounts of cocaine. Needless to say, this night did not end well.

Sheen was then rushed to the hospital, and will now enter rehab while his hit CBS show goes on hiatus while he seeks the help he so desparately needs. Unfortunately, Sheen doesn't think he needs the help, telling Radar Online via text messages that the people who want him to get help (including his father Martin Sheen and CBS) are a "bunch of turds." He adds, "People don't seem to get it...Guy can't have a great time and do his job also?"

A guy can have a great time and do his job, sure, but when he's being paid $2 million an episode, he owes it to his employer to act like a responsible human being. Getting rushed to the hospital following a night of binge drinking, coke snorting and porn stars does not exactly make for a responsible father of two...even by Hollywood standards (which, albeit, are pretty low and usually contain some form of botox).

So what's next for Charlie Sheen? How about what's not next for Charlie Sheen? Unless he realizes he has a problem and really cleans up his act, this story is not going to end well...though we'd be down for a season of Survivor featuring Sheen and 12 porn stars. Perhaps CBS should consider that?

Categories: WTF, Hollywood!?
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