Charlie Sheen is going on tour
I want you to process that for a moment. A well-known actor has a complete meltdown, turns to drugs, is involved in several scandals (most of which ended with angry hookers and the cops being called), gets booted from his TV show -- and just when you think it's finally over for our onetime star, the guy launches a tour and sells out Radio City Music Hall.
Yup. People in this country are so desperate to see celebrities doing bizarre things that they're lining up by the thousands to buy tickets to see Charlie Sheen do ... what, exactly? Who knows, but the show is called the "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Death is Not an Option Tour," and it sounds like the most moronic thing to happen to the entertainment world since Carrot Top started taking steroids.
Those interested in wasting their hard-earned money on this can buy tickets for around $100. But for $750 you get the meet-and-greet package, which guarantees you face time with Mr. Sheen. If you spend $750 to meet Charlie Sheen, then you're definitely not part of the problem -- you are the problem. Truth!