Sandra Bullock Divorces and Adopts a Baby
Some people, after finding out their spouse cheated, will get revenge by sleeping with someone else. Sandra Bullock, meanwhile, gets revenge
by filing for divorce … and adopting a kid. Yes, the big news this week is that Bullock is finally ditching Jesse James for good, and, well, she decided to fill the void by adopting a kid … though she claims to have adopted the boy (who’s three-and-a-half months and from New Orleans) in January before James’ affair(s) were made public. Well, I guess Bullock will have a pretty sweet story to tell the kid begins to wonder about what was happening in the world the year he was born.
Randy Quaid Arrested Is Randy Quaid turning into a real-life Cousin Eddie? (Ahem … ya know, from the Vacation movies. Remember them?) The actor and his wife were arrested on outstanding warrants after showing up to court two weeks late for a hearing. The charges stem from a felony case in which an inn charges that Quaid never paid the $10,000 for this stay. Quaid has pled not-guilty, arguing that he paid the inn in full. Funnily enough, the couple have dished out $40,000 in fines for missing court appearances, which is triple what they apparently owed the inn. Isn’t math fun when it comes to idiotic celebrity trials?
Lindsay Lohan Fired … Again
Though she’s trying to get her white-powdered feet back in Hollywood’s door, Lindsay Lohan keeps finding it being slammed right back in her face. Ouch … that, like, hurt. She was reportedly set to star in the film The Other Side
(along Woody Harrelson and Giovanni Ribisi), but was then fired
because she’s not “bankable,” which, in all reality, is just code for “We don’t want this chick showing up late to set every day high as a kite, so, um, buh-bye.”
Katie Holmes to Play Jackie Kennedy In the WTF casting decision of the week, Katie Holmes will be playing Jackie Kennedy in a History Channel miniseries. She’ll be opposite Greg Kinnear’s John F. Kennedy (eh, I kinda see it), and … um, wait – when did the History Channel begin making buzzed-about miniseries? What about my 23 hours of Hitler programming? Will we lose that, too?! And seriously, what makes you think Holmes can handle this particular on-screen dysfunctional relationship when she can’t even handle her off-screen dysfunctional relationship without being photographed looking like she hasn’t slept since Dawson’s Creek?
Bret Michaels Finally Conscious and Talking
He’s alive! After being hospitalized in critical condition following a brain hemorrhage, Bret Michaels is finally alert and speaking
, according to his rep. This all surfaced after Michaels complained of a headache back on April 22nd
, and since then his inner circle hasn’t said a thing about his condition. Some feared their silence meant Michaels was in really bad shape, but if he’s now speaking and alert, that can’t be a bad thing. Good for him! Now when do we get to watch Michaels trying to have sex with 15 skanky strippers in the back of a bus again, because that's all we really want to know, right?