Bullock Ditches Hollywood, Lohan's a Porn Star and Katie Holmes Thinks She Can Dance

Bullock Ditches Hollywood, Lohan's a Porn Star and Katie Holmes Thinks She Can Dance

May 07, 2010

Sandra Bullock Takes Leave from Acting – After winning an Oscar for Best Actress, adopting a baby from New Orleans and learning her husband had been cheating with several women, Sandra Bullock decided – ya know what – maybe it’s time to take a little break from it all. Though most actors and actresses go for the big paycheck gigs after winning their Oscar, Bullock decided to get off the speeding bus before she’s blind-sided by another skanky Miss Congeniality. Good decision!

Lindsay Lohan, Porn Star – In an attempt to revive her failing film career and somehow turn her life around, Lindsay Lohan has apparently decided to become a porn star. A fake porn star, of course, in a film about real-life porn star Linda Lovelace, but a porn star nonetheless. Finally, a way for La Lohan to take drugs and have sex on camera and actually be paid!

Katie Holmes Serenades Tom Cruise – Proving there’s a good reason why Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise have never starred together in a film, Mrs. Cruise serenaded her husband recently with a really bad version of “Whatever Lola Wants, Lola Gets” from Damn Yankees while she pushed and shoved him around on stage. It’s all rather silly and kinda awkward, but the real fun comes in watching the ways with which Cruise tries to hide the fact that his wife towers over his tiny, girl-frame.

‘Bones’ Star Pulls a Major Tiger Woods – Not only did Bones star David Boreanaz admit to cheating on his wife recently, becoming another in a long line of recently-announced celebrity affairs, but he did so with one of Tiger Wood’s ex mistresses, Rachel Uchitel, she of the Skanky Hall of Fame. And he called the girl while his wife was in labor with the child they had six weeks ago! WTF is going on, Bones?! We know you’re on a show called Bones, but that doesn’t mean you get to bone anything that walks.

Gross: Live Schreiber Loves His Wife’s Sex Scenes – What’s worse than having to watch your adorable wife have sex with another man on screen? How about actually loving it? Apparently Liev Schreimer was so taken by his wife Naomi Watts’ love scene with Samuel L. Jackson in Mother and Child that he made a point to tell Jackson that he thought the scene was “great” and “smokin’ hot”. Um, nasty.

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Which one of these people is in the movie Divergent?

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Miles Teller