Best/Worst Movie Promos of the Week: ‘The Three Stooges’ Just Won't Go Away

Best/Worst Movie Promos of the Week: ‘The Three Stooges’ Just Won't Go Away

Mar 22, 2012

The Three StoogesHappy Hunger Ga – oh, there are other films hitting theaters in the near future, aren’t there?

We’ve got a brand new trailer for Oren Peli’s latest, Chernobyl Diaries. No, it doesn’t suggest this one can top the horror of the Paranormal Activity franchise, but there’s something about that used and abused shaky cam technique that still packs the power to just suck you right in. On the other hand, The Cabin in the Woods looks to take some overused concepts, rustle them up and breathe new life into them. Want a taste of the action to come? Check out the new TV spot.

Get ready Kristen Stewart fans, because we’ve got a double dose of K-Stew to share with you this weekend. First up is the obligatory trailer teaser for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2 - because of course the two minute and 30 second trailer requires a 15-second tease. On a far lengthier note, we’ve got a five-minute extended preview of Snow White and the Huntsman. The large majority of the material is shots we’ve already seen, but seeing a good portion of the film’s plot strung together serves as a nice segue to the full feature.

To end this introduction on a bright note – literally – we’ve got the collection of character posters for Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows. As someone who’s never watched the original show, I’ve had little to no interest in the adaptation. However, now that these news posters and the trailer arrived, it seems I’m as interested as ever while it seems many fans aren’t all that into it.

The Best Stuff

1. Jesus Henry Christ Trailer: What better way to catch someone’s attention than by opening a trailer with someone right in the middle of giving birth? Then, once its got you, the trailer for Jesus Henry Christ uses a super cute kid and quick cuts to hold on tight and take you through a number of plot points before hitting the core concept of the film. By the time you reach the daddy issues, you’ve actually got a connection with one, if not two of the characters, therefore, making you invested in their situation. And that’s only the trailer’s midpoint. The latter portion of the piece uses an additional two characters to round out the scenario, creating a multidimensional sense of the story before you even see the full feature.

2. The Hunger Games Clip: Did you really think I’d be burnt out of writing about The Hunger Games? Never! Just as the film is finally about to hit theaters, The Hunger Games makes one last appearance in Best/Worst Promos via its fifth clip, Gale and Katniss’ final moments together before she’s whisked away to the Capitol. One of the main reasons this incredible violent scenario is so accessible is because it doesn’t trivialize death. Yes, most movie characters are terrified moments before biting the dust, but, more often than not, the fear doesn’t feel honest. However, from the moment Prim’s name is picked during the Reaping, Katniss knows what she has coming and even though she may not show it, it’s evident here that she’s genuinely horrified. Then to make you feel for her even more, she begs not for her own life, but for the well being of her family.

3. Prometheus Trailer: To be honest, when that Prometheus teaser first dropped, I didn’t see what was so great about it. Sure, it packs some cool imagery, but ultimately, all it is is some shots of the film set to the beat of a pulsating soundtrack. It feels more like a music video than something that teases a feature film plot. However, then the full trailer arrived. Wow. Not only does it finally indulge us in the premise of the film, but it also manages to up the anticipation ten fold. Who knew that was even possible? This video offers up just enough of the long-awaited plot information to satisfy, but also uses the information to open up dozens of additional doors. Then that ending. It’s somewhat reminiscent of the montage-like format of the teaser, but having followed quite a bit of exposition, it earns a new degree of terror and that terror becomes all the more disconcerting courtesy of that grating background tune.

The Worst Stuff

1. The Three Stooges Trailer: A feature’s got a major problem if just the trailer feels like too much. After mere seconds I’ve had more than enough face-slaps to last me a lifetime, but then the trailer really lets you stew in the non-humor, throwing in a whopping 15-second clip midway of slaps, pokes and boinks. Yeah, that’s right; we’re only half way through it. While the face slapping stops, there still isn’t a single funny bit in this trailer. I was never much of a fan of the original Three Stooges, but I love America’s Funniest Home Videos, so I’ve got to appreciate slapstick a little, right? Could The Three Stooges just be past their prime or not meant for modern audiences? This trailer’s desperate opening might be the answer to that. 

2. Wrath of the Titans Chimera Featurette: You know who’s going to see Wrath of the Titans next weekend? Folks looking for some wild and relentless action, not something that feels like a high school history lesson. That voiceover is just an instant killer and the fact that the first sentence of the track plays over a silent background doesn’t help. Even after the action picks up, the voiceover continues to wreak havoc, managing to suck the life out of some explosive clips with its drone. Then in comes the talking head stating the obvious. Really? You decided to throw in the Chimera because it’s cool? I never would have guessed! The sole pretty interesting piece of information that actually deserves explanation is that one head of this beast spews fuel while the other throws out a heat haze that ignites it. (You can just skip to :56 for that little treat.)

3. Piranha 3DD Red Band Trailer: You don’t just release a red band trailer to release a red band trailer. If you’re going to bestow a new piece of promotional material upon the public, it better have value – and no, Piranha 3DD, boobs don’t count. Rather than use this new red band trailer to show us some wild action sequences that’ll perhaps show the sequel can top the original’s mid-lake party massacre, this is quite literally a red band version of the trailer we’ve already seen. It’s exactly the same minus the replacement of girls in bikinis with topless ones. Seriously? Is that how this film’s going to be? Well, I guess I can write this trashy mess off right now.

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